Not a Mouse in the House

Well hello and all…it hasn’t been so long since my last post, I have had far longer lulls, but of course aren’t there times when time seems subjective…

On our second date.

On our second date.

And yea speaking of time…it’s the end of an era here at ol RWR as Lil Mouse has decided it was time to move on. She’d had enough of the ol Unit and his Dysfunctional ways.

Our relationship was based on one truth. Some day she would no longer need what I clankitily, crankily, brought to the table.

When I met Lil Mouse she was a downtown shop girl with dreams. Now those dreams have come true and she’s is ready to start a new dream. I cannot hold it against her if at 27 years old if those dreams don’t include a raggedy 53 year old man, well not on a day to day basis anyway, at this point I assume I’m still in those dreams, just in a new smaller role.

Whatever those dreams hold, where ever they take her she’s a special girl..no now a special woman and I wish her all the best.

Good Bye Lil Mouse

And so one era ends and new one begins….okay that makes it seem like there are major changes coming to the blogs, and the truth is short of not using Lil Mouse as a source of humorous material, I am just not sure what this change in my personal life will bring to my online blogging life…well I wont have that editing filter so…things may get a little weirder from here on out (he chuckles quietly to himself).

old-time-reporterThis blog will continue to be a catch all for the ideas that won’t fit in my other more specific themed blog. I will try and keep the same light humorous feel and keep politics and other social rants out of RWR,  try of course being the operative word here, l and his fabulous ols’, no one is here to review it before I hit the publish button.

Oh I am using a new fangled laptop now. That gives me the ability to take this blog on the Fox-Newsroad easier. I don’t know how that will make a difference, but it sounds cooler. I also have cable again finally, (woo hoo Fox News!) so expect some posts on the endless hours of mind numbing pleasures that is modern day television programming.

Anyway and as always thanks for stopping by RWR, and we’ll see you again soon.

Is My Sarong So Wrong (or Can my Sarong be Sawrong when it feels Saright)

Well now, well now, well now it has been awhile hasn’t it. I may have just too many thingsThe Palce at Night going on. And ya know it finally got hot, hot, hot, here in Ol’ Palace City (which I of course love), so I have been out trying to enjoy these last couple days before the temperature Early September in South Dakotaplummets back to like -30 degrees in another week or so.

Okay well that’s an exaggeration, that couldn’t possibly happen for at least a month.

But I mean that’s what it’s like living in this part of the country. Just Another Spring Day

Mostly it’s the Arctic Circle. But, for at least a month or two out of the year it’s more akin to the Tropics as the both the temperature Eastern South dakota in Juneand humidity climb into the nineties or even higher.

Which of course leads me to the topic of this post.

Let me just start by telling ya that I am a man, I like women, I have no real gender identity issues. But I’m also, as far as a lot of “real” men are concerned a little “fruity”. Ol Singing Cowboy

What they mean is I do stuff that most self respecting man would not do: write poetry, sing out loud, wear odd clothing, listen to music that’s not classic rock…

Or that’s how they see it. The way I see it…as a Man I do what I want baby. A man (in my man handbook anyway) doesn’t worry about what others think of him. He does things his way.ol blue eyes

Okay so ya see, though I love it when it’s hot, high humidity is another story….oh and it’s also important to know for this post that I don’t believe in air conditioning.

Wait, that sounded weird…I mean, I do believe that air conditioning exists, I just have never owned one, don’t believe in using them (I don’t like artificial heating [furnaces]either but that’s another post).

This I would not have believed!?!

This I would not have believed!?!

So where are we, I love the heat, not humidity though & don’t use an air conditioner. Oh and have I ever mentioned I’m not that into clothing. That fact also comes into play in this post. Ever since I was a kid I have had trouble keeping my clothes on. No not like that jeez, more of a freedom from restrictions thing, I just enjoy the feeling of being completely free. I know I know, if ya don’t get it ya won’t get it. But there are some reading this right now who are saying “Yea, that’s what I feel like” .

So anyway that got off on a seemingly weird tangent, but it will all tie together in the end. Because this post is about freedom, about freeing the Male from the over heating crotch bondage of pantial leg coverings and yes that goes for even my favorite Abercrombie & Fitch cargo shorts.

So lets go back a few years to when Lil’ Mouse & I still lived in Su Fa in the little house on Indiana, and ya know God bless ‘er for puttin up with it but that tiny house was a sweat box. One hot August day, having spent the day writing etc naked save a pair of swim trunks, drenched in sweat I started complaining when Lil’ Mouse came home.

“I even tried the swim trunks but…” Referencing my last bit of clothing and the clammy cloistered feeling my poor underparts were receiving and how I hated the feeling of sweat dripping down my inner thigh.

“You could try one of my skirts.” She said it as a joke. I know she did and I could see in her eyes the fear as her idea was met by my excitement instead of laughter.

air-conditionedShe took control and found one I could try on. It was of course (based on the theme of this post) Freakin Awesome! It was like suddenly having an air vent in my pants (and I won’t even go into the ease of use when it comes to potty time…)

Lil Mouse said i could have this little blue and white striped cotton skirt on the condition I was not wear it out of the house. I told her not to be worried because it was obviously a woman’s skirt ( I of course did not exactly keep that promise 100%) but that as soon as we could find a macho alternative…

So for the next couple years I would put the idea out of my head until it started getting hot. The old blue and white skirt would come out of the drawer, but it was never quite right, and

Employed Hipster

Employed Hipster

I investigated kilts but they seemed a: to heavy and hot and b: to hipster-ish, so kilts were right out.

Unemployed Hipster

Unemployed Hipster

And then last summer (a really hot summer here in So Dak) I was down by the river and I saw a large family from maybe Indonesia or ? (I don;’t know I didn’t ask). The point is the men were all wearing long wraps…Sarongs(?), (again I don’t know I didn’t ask) but there they were. I mean real men, in public wearing skirts and getting away with it. When I got home I immediately told Lil’ Mouse I wanted her to sew me a Polynesian wrap of some kind.

Representative Gentlemen.

Representative Gentlemen.

We spent the next year searching for fabrics, first in Su Fa and then in Place City all to no avail. Nothing I could find with what I thought was the right fabric with the right pattern.

And so now here we are in the near present, this last May, when it first hinted that it might start getting hot, I went online and turtleislandlogoeventually ended up here

Now I am not really much of an online shopper. Oh yea Craigslist and E-bay sure but rarely do I purchase anything from an actual store online so I was a little nervous when I filled my “cart” with two items and pushed advance to check out.

Their response time was excellent. I got my Sarongs in a couple days. Amazingly they arrived on the only 97 degree day in early summer. I immediately put them on and they were just what I hoped for. It was as close to feeling like wearing nothing at all as I believe you can get and still wear something. It’s like wearing a breath, that covers your coverables.

Not me of Course.

Not me of Course.

Lil’ Mouse of course like this look much better than the ol’ skirt and just shrugs and says “whatever you want to do Honey?” when I talk wistfully about wearing it out in to public. She wouldn’t stop me (probably), though may try to talk me out of it and who could blame her when, especially here in Palace City, if I wore the Sarong downtown shopping it would certainly ’cause a stir.

Okay now we're gettin closer...

Okay now we’re gettin closer…

And that brings up an iteresting point doesn’t it. In this age of liberation and breaking down old stereotypes where is “Men’s” liberation, cause you and I both know many of the people throwing condemning looks our way if I wore this in public would be women. They just don’t want to see men wearing skirts. To the majority of so called “feminist” women the idea of a man wearing a skirt is laughable at best…this of course only serves to make me want to wear the sarong in public more (that’s just my oppositional/defiant disorder coming into play). But of course I won’t wear it downtown because Lil’ Mouse holds a respectable job in this town and well it probably wouldn’t be helpful to her career to make her a laughing stock, the wife of the weirdo who wears the skirts.

Mostly this summer though, it has been rainy and cold (though I still found the Sarong to be the perfect “kick around the house” wear) And so the question had been moot. But thank the Lord & Praise Jesus it finally kicked it up at the tail end of August with temps & humidity regularly above ninety. Perfect Sarong weather.

As I mentioned in the beginning of the post I have been doing a lot of outside activities in the past couple months. Mostly they revolved around trips to the Badlands & the Hills camping. The Sarong is great after day hiking back in the camp site evening wear. And out there who cares who sees me in my Sarongs.

Light, portable, easily hand washed and air dried. The sarong is a great addition to my minimalist camping gear.

Light, portable, easily hand washed and air dried. The sarong is a great addition to my minimalist camping gear.

Back home of course I try to be as discreet as possible. But I do go out on the hot evening to smoke on the porch. Lil’ Mouse just smiles.

Wow and this has been a long post for the RWR blog. Usually only one of my blogs regularly runs this long. Of course I’m not quite done yet, because like any good showman I have saved what really you came here to see for the very last…and so without dragging it out any further here ya go, the Ol’ Unit, in HQ central, with his two favorite addictions and his brand new writing wear…

Lil’ Mouse took a dozen or so pic’s

These are the two she chose for me to post.

 

Say Bye Bye to ol’ American Pie

Hello everyone, Lil’ Mouse and I are here to bring you another RWR post. If any of you have been with us long enough you will remember that one of our earlier posts focused on our favorite movie choices.

It has always been our plan to post our top TV and music lists also. And when we first sat down this morning that was our plan. I, however, had a thought… “We should do this list backward.”

“Um…what do you mean? Choice five to one?” Lil’ Mouse, often bewildered by my sudden left turns tried her best to follow my new idea.

“Ya know our most unfavorite.” I knew already knowing which song she’d list first.

“The song that…”

“American Pie!” Lil Mouse exclaimedAmerican Pie

“…makes you immediately turn the radi…”

“American Pie.” She reiterated.

“..o.”

“American Pie.”

She laughed remembering another earlier post. “And anything by Neil Diamond.”Sexy Rocker Serious & Sexy

“So do you like the idea for…”

“What’s New Pussycat!” Lil Mouse was on a roll.

“Yes, okay so you wanna do this post.”

tomjones“Actually anything by Tom Jones or Neil Diamond ’cause they’re both creepy.”

“So your #1 worst song is American Pie that’s a given…” Trying to keep her focused.

“I think it’s the chain’s and the chest hair.”

“Okay honey but what’s your #2?”

“I also don’t like that “Cats in the Cradle” song.”

I'm sensing a theme here

I’m sensing a theme here.

“By Harry Chapin?” Me feigning indignance.

“Whoever, that one and American Pie are manufactured sentimentality.” She claims

“They’re considered two folk classics.” I defend them, though not two of my favorites, but certainly rate sing along status.

“Don’t like ’em” Lil Mouse is nothing if not definitive

“So Cat’s in the Cradle is #2?”

“I also don’t like Bob Dylan.”

No chains or chest hair here

No chains or chest hair here

This was not a surprise to me. “Cause he’s a phony right?”

“He’s become a character of himself” She sounds a woman betrayed.

“Neil Young is what Bob Dylan wishes he was!”

“Okay Honey but so what Bob Dylan song is your most…?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like his songs. I just don’t like Bob Dylan.”

Five years and I can still be surprised huh. “I thought you thought he was a phony?”

“I do. But I still like his songs. I have a bunch of his albums.”

It was true, she did own a bunch of Dylan records. I always wondered about that particular dichotomy.  Sometimes I would catch her in the girl cave singing along with “Hurricane” or “Tangled up in Blue”. I always thought it a guilty pleasure and never said anything.

She reached over me toward the keyboard. “Don’t put that about the phony stuff”

“So you don’t think he’s phony?” She hates when I do this, but I can’t help but do.

Sighing she launches into her explanation. “I think he’s a carefully crafting artist.”

“C’mon..” I start my challenge. She holds up a hand

“Ah. Ah. Let me finish” I continue to stare keeping up the pressure…

“Who’s art has, at this point, become being Bob Dylan.”

Robert Z. as "Bobby D."

Robert Z. as “Bobby D.”

I lean over the keyboard fingers flying.

“Wait.” she laughs nervously. “Don’t put that in!”

“Be brave.” I exclaim. “Go bold or go home!”

“That’s your motto. Mine’s be bold at home.” She has stopped laughing.

I am quickly setting the last picture. I don’t know if she has read what I have written since. I can just feel her eyes on the side of my head as I hustle to put in the pic.

“You are going to change that part aren’t you.” The punctuation is correct, it was not a question.

I hit the publish button. “Too late. I’m sorry….”

Lil’ Mouse’s  harsh belittling laugh cuts me to the quick.

"Shift, alt, what Honey?"

“Shift, alt, what Honey?”

“Your such an old man.” She is already reaching past me for the mouse.

Accessing the dashboard she reopens the post. “It’s not like it’s the front page of the NY Times in the 1940’s…We can’t stop the presses Boss!”

“It’s not like 100,000 copies just went into hardcover print and now we’re going to have to recall them all.” She’s so funny my Lil’ Mouse.

“Oh no…” She mimed panic as she pushed me out of the way and began typing. ” What am I going to do. Your so clever. You really got me there.”

“Okay” I said making a last ditch effort. ” If your afraid to tell the truth.”

“But I did tell the truth.” Lil Mouse said all sweets and smiles now.

“Lemme see what you wrote.”

The Winner & Still Champion

The Winner & Still Champion

She pushes the publish button. “Too late.” She laughs

“Okay but…what if i just put back in what you really said tomorrow or the next day.”

My beautiful Lil Mouse looks unfazed. She knows me to well.

“You wouldn’t do that to me Honey.”

No…no I wouldn’t

 

Happy Times

Randomn Writes & Rongs in the Middle Border

Hi all, so we here at the RWR offices are proud to announce our big move to our new location in Palace City, or the Middle Border, as many ’round these parts call it. Improved functionality and some exciting acquisitions by our new parent subsidiary, Blogaphesto, really means we can bring you some top of the line blogging action.

Unfortuntaely one of the offshoot start ups from RWR, 409 N. has closed it’s doors forever. But Capital House News will soon replace it bringing not only the latest in our poetry but “us” news and local interest stories as well. So with every door closing as the saying goes, your new bosses supply you with a cool Jeep!

What ya never heard that one before?

Or are you saying your blogbosses didn’t supply you with a kick ass vehicle for…

Jeepin it Realtmsymbol a new blog where Lil Mouse and I (or just I at times) get out into the wild wide world beyond the world wide web and get paid to have fun.

So with that meet out new Baby, Pearl…

Baby Pearl

Baby Pearl

Paerl N' Mud

Baby Pearl’s First Mud Bath

 

 

 

 

 

We named her after one of our favorite authors, Pearl S. Buck, like Pearl the Jeep a fan of American Work Ethic…

We took a quick trip out to the Black Hills recently, at our behest here’s a couple quick pics. A little preview of our new blog

Lil Mouse as "Wilson"

Lil Mouse N’ Pearl

 

Lil Mouse watches while I clamber up a rock face.

 

 

Goin under the bridge...Turn #1Iron Mountain Hwy

Goin under the bridge…Turn #1Iron Mountain Hwy

 

if you haven’t been on Iron Mountain Hwy in the Black Hills, rated as one of the best roads in America (by everyone I talked to). Stayed tuned for upcoming video footage, not quite as good as in person but it does save you on gas money. The picture shows the first of a few turns that send you over the top of the road you were just on.

The tunnel is also a picture frame

Comin up to Tunnel #1 Iron Mountain Hwy.

 

The first of two tunnels that are cut so that they frame the distant Mt. Rushmore perfectly. (And also the rock that I clambered up from the first shot in order to get this.DSCN0544

 

 

Oh and this

An unusual view

Driver not shown due to inappropriate hand signals.

 

This is looking down from my spot above the tunnel from the above pic. I think the driver was worried I’d knock down some rocks on his car.

At Needles, another great hwy in the Hills

At Needles, another great hwy in the Hills

 

 

Okay well that’s jes the start gentle readers, just found friends, and fervent fans.

Watch fer our new upcoming blogs “Capital House News”

& Jeepin it Realtmsymbol both here on Word Press

Art where you least expect it.

The Horse Says Yes!

 

 

 

Electronic Life 5.0

So more and more I’m not jes gettin old, but that I’m glad I’m getting old ’cause…I mean, I know I use a computer and, even more an Xbox to download movies, instant streaming and Netflix, heck Lil Mouse and I haven’t had cable TV now fer over four years now, so it’s not like I am not engaging  this new electronic world…I jes don’t much like it…

I think it all starts out innocent and enough and helpful and all, but then soon, like the usa up all nightpromise of cable as commercial free TV lasted about a year or so, then we were paying for TV and gettin commercials, and it was more of the same crap but worse.

I think that’s what we’re doin all over again.

And yea Xbox I’m talkin to you…Lets say I buy a movie and ya know there this floaty cloud like storage area where they encourage me to store my movie and I like that because who xbox livewants to fill up their hard drive with the movies when I have all that cloud space.

So yea I may buy a movie now and then and say here ya go Xbox hold this for me till I wanna watch it again. They keep it up in a cloud so I figure its gotta be pretty safe only…

I went to watch one of the movies I’d bought the other day, I think it was Ghost Dad with Bill Cosby and lo and behold all that I got was a message saying that my movie was unavailable right now, but as soon as it was available I could watch it again free of charge.

Okay, I mean, I bought the movie you were jes holding it for me. Did you borrow it out to clud 3someone else? If so did they leave an ID? And jes how did they get into my cloud? Haven’t they heard the old song “Hey You Get out of My Cloud”.  And what’ya mean I can watch it again “free of charge”, is that you doin me a favor?

It’d be just like if I went to the bank and then the teller said…”Oooo Jeez we’re sorry Mr Unit, We don’t have yer money right now but when we get it back you can have some of your own money free of charge”

Oh really can I? I feel so deeply indebted to you for letting me access something that belonged to me in the first place!

cloud 4Maybe keeping my valuable media and computer files in a a visible mass of condensed water vapor floating in the atmosphere is not the best long term storage solution. I mean is there even a way to somehow lock the damn thing when I’m not using it?

See okay all joking aside the thing is, like the promise of cable TV with it’s better service, programming, access and commercial free-ism it won’t belong before this information is harder to get and costs more.

We used to get our TV for free now we pay for it.

We used to get our radio for free, slowly but surely they’re gonna get us to pay for cloud 2that.

We still get information relatively freely…

Complaining ’bout the cloud might seem like I’m jes blowin smoke,  but used dvd and  book stores are already feeling the pinch. As the conversion from hard copies to digital cloud storage continues will my copy of Ghost Dad be there forever, or will as some critics suggest, they edit the movie to remove the blatant reference to the afterlife or to suit some other nefarious future purpose as yet unseeable by man.And if every copy of Ghost Dad is updated in the cloud at the exact same time. Would any of us ever know.? I mean once Bill’s gone.ghost_dad_ver2 Then, Would any of us ever know?

 

 

 

Don’t Ya’ Step On My New Toe Shoes

Okay so it’s been pretty nice here in the ol’ Soo Foo, (70+)okay so yea that’s an understatement last April 1st I was writin’ about snow, but anyway, warm weather for me means barefoot weather.

It’s been a lifelong obsession with me, being barefoot I mean, as a kid I was constantly losing my shoes.  Which in retrospect seems like a clothing item that you wouldn’t normally lose.

When I was a in High School out in So Cal, I went barefoot my whole senior year, granted they did try to stop me, but I only had two classes per semester that year and eventually they gave up and gave in…

Anyway of course, now I’m older and don’t live in a warm climate, but still, I’m barefoot as much as humanly possible. When it’s warm that means most of the time, unless I’m wearing sandals or flip flops….

Oh yea, unless I’m out hiking of course, can’t really hike in sandals or flip flops and while I used to do a lot of hiking barefoot when I was young…well…I’m not anymore.

So anyway, of course I busted my flip flops from last year (tryin to  hike in them oddly enough lol) so I needed new ones and Lil Mouse had given me the green light on also buyin a new pair of boots (see photos of my old boots nice huh? Those bad boys are like 8 plus years old) so we headed to our local sports super store and lo and behold I found both of my needs in one new footwear item (I mean I feel bad calling them shoes)..

So yea here they are(I know, I know they’ve probably been around for years already, what can I say I’m old and I live in the mid-west). Anyway Lil’ Mouse knew they were there and, God Bless her soul, knew I would love ’em and she said as long as I don’t sleep with them I could buy ’em…even though, she added, they look ridiculous.

“I’ll take ’em” I told the Sales Dude “I’ll just wear them out the door.”

“You’re gonna wear those everywhere aren’t you?” Lil Mouse asked as we walked to the car.

I guess she could tell by my transcendent expression that I liked the shoes.

“Name a place I can’t wear these”

“In B…”she started

“I promise” I assured her “I will take them off when I sleep”

“Noo,,,” She said slowly, as if to a child arching her eyebrow the cute way she does.

“Oh.” I guess I was a little disappointed “You don’t think they’re sexy”

Lil Mouse just laughed at me. That’s why I love her.

Oh and Vibram Five Fingers foot wear I love you too.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Electric Life 2.0

Well hello been so busy haven’t gotten to write in R W & R for awhile(put up a couple dysu posts & started posting my completed novel in sections in same). But today was one of those super busy days flying 80 mph (literally at times) and a subject came up in my head that I thought was worthy post material…

Now a days we have all these gizmos, high tech gadgets that our supposed to make our lives easier, save time, facilitate life’s transitional moments. Many, most in fact, often do work this way, some are extremely helpful, some are also at times stunningly inefficient and a source of extreme ‘second wasting’ annoyance.

We all are busy these days what with, work, family, hobbies, friends, xtra activities. Spare time, (that is time to waste) is at a minimum. In my job this can become particularly obvious.

Being a delivery driver I use my cell phone a lot. I love the lil thing, can’t imagine how we got along without it. When I pull up to make my drop off I call the customer, here’s where my love of this technology can quickly become a Bobby Brown kind’a love, a Mel Gibson kind’a love…I dial the number and

You have reached 605 555-5150 if you would like to leave a message wait for the beep, to send an instant page press one…bla bla bla, this message goes on for about forty five seconds. All I wanna say is ‘yer sandwich is here’. That’s less than a second, yet every time I gotta sit and listen to the same b.s..

And who are these people who still need instructions when it comes to how to leave a voice mail?…Maybe in the 80’s but um..excuse me Verizon this is 2012. Aren’t these supposed to be smart phones?

It’s like if very time I went to the grocery store the checker greeted me and said…’okay here’s what we’re going to do, you start putting the items from your cart onto the check stand, I will take each item and individually scan it using…’

Okay first I'm gonna say welcome to our grocery store...'Welcome to our grocery store'. Next...

You’d be like ‘B I know what a damn register does’…

But no I gotta hear it every time..okay not every time, some times I get to hear music first..

Listen I work for a company where I am supposed to be moving ‘freaky fast’, my customers expect it of me, is it wrong of me to expect it from my phone?

Okay so if you like this post, use your right hand to grasp the mouse and using the wheel, slowly scroll down toward the bottom of the page, not all the way to the bottom, just below the post but above the….