Welcome Ooga Booga and hello one and all to another episode of Netflix: Nuggets & Nasties!
Image used ’cause I wanna look official…I’m not…NetFlix is most likely unaware of this use of their fine logo…
And today along with our regular funtastic review of a Netflix Nugget, I’m gonna go out on a limb personally and pre-review “The Croods”…
Pre-review why tha’s crr-azy, the rest of the RWR staff is claiming no involvement here and that’s okay…I feel confident in my own inimitable fashion that my knowledge of whats going to transpire in this film is going to be relatively spot on.
That being said let’s look at our Nugget first shall we…
1. Ironclad
This 2011 film starring James Purefoy as Knights Templar Thomas Marshall and the always amazing Paul Giamatti as King John; has the caption “blood will run” and they ain’t kidding.
The movie, directed by Jonathan English (he also receives a writing credit along with Erick Kastel) is classified as an adventure film, but that seems to diminish all that this excellent movie brings to the medieval banquet hall.
Brian Cox and Paul Giamatti get acquainted,
The story looks at the turbulent and bloody history surrounding the signing of the Magna Carta, or the Great Charter.
The film opens just after the signing.
Is it just me, or am I gettin’ screwed here?
The Templar’s having aided Dukes, Barons and other nobles in their “up-rising” against the King, are understandably a tad weary about traveling in full Templar regalia and advertising who they are.
When good Knights go bad!
And rightly they should be as things quickly get…crunchy (to use a term we heard on Olympic Snowboarding this week-end).
Simon Schama (shay-ma)
As usual we won’t give much of the plot away here though the majority of the film is spent dealing with the 1215 siege of Rochester Castle…Which we amazingly enough already knew quite a lot about (Thanks Simon Schama!).
Brian Cox as William d’Somethin or other.
Anyway, great historical approach, wonderful performances from everyone including Brian Cox who is great as William d’Aubigny Lord of Belvoir Castle, one of the Nobles who fought against the tyranical (sic) King John.
Oh and yes there is a great romantic angle for you ladies.
Insert phallic innuendo here.
Gentlemen if your gal isn’t too squeamish and loves British Historical Romance Adventure Dramas this would make a great Valentines Night film.
Jason Flemyng as Beckett
But rest assured guys, from the first mace bashing the face, to the cleaving in half (open mouth amazement at the battle scenes special effects crew), Thomas Marshall’s great sword nearly cutting an enemy clean in two…vertically, you are going to love this film.
And did we mention it has Vikings…Vikings!
All of us at RWR really enjoyed it.
We think you’ll have a smashing good time as well.
Okaay okay on to it.
My prognostication over the animated film “The Croods”
Now I’m just ballparking here, going for the characters, story and overall “intention” or socio-cultural moral behind the tale…(this is why the rest of the Blogophesto staff has abandoned me on this)
Wait this movie is just a fun kids movie right?
See I’ve, we’ve all of us seen this movie before.
So again I don’t feel what I’m doing is that hard.
Before I start lemme caveat by saying that I have seen(ish) the poster icon and some of
The Croods from DreamWorks Ent.
what I am saying comes from that. I won’t put any other pictures up because to do so might sway or influence me one way or t’other.
There’s a family, prototypical, not like the new normal, but like the bad old normal.
A dad, a mom, two maybe three kids and an animal for laughs (or maybe as a sensitive male foil to the Dad a la Brian in Family Guy).
Okay the basic story is thus, the Dad, not the stern task master of the King Neptune mold, but the lovable meaning well buffoon variety, (this I take from the poster) is obsessed somehow with keeping things “as they are”.
He is relatively incapable, and really only managed to keep his family alive through dumb luck or his wife’s (secret so as not to hurt his fragile male ego) interventions.
Now something has or is soon to happen (I’m betting an environmental calamity) that threatens to shake up his family unit.
The Dad of course acts with overbearing ignorance, however sweetly well meaning the poor oaf, and denies/obfuscates gets angry and then sheepishly follows.
Now in many instances the Mom would be the storyline’s heroine, but and again here, from the poster, I’m betting it’s the older girl…
What no of course not the older son, we’ll get to him a little farther down.
No it’s going to be the girl. She is full of the desire to break free from the stranglehold of the old traditions. And wants to prove that she can do whatever a man can do and more!
She understands the extent of the dangerous they face by clinging to the old ways and the upcoming pending environmental apocalypse better than anyone if only someone would listen to her!!
She’s definitely not the kind of young cave woman who wants to grow up barefoot and pregnant (God are we still talking about that!).
She is daring and dashing, ready to take risks and reach the stars…(all here-to-for in general considered male qualities). She wants to break free from the restraints that bind her.
Her older brother on the other hand is nervous, unsure of himself, wants to back Dad, but also isn’t interested in typical cave boy activities and wishes his Dad, who only does it as compensation for his own inadequacies, wouldn’t push him so hard.
In the end, as his world threatens to collapse around the family he has tried so hard to protect using all the ignorance he can muster, dad, with help from mom of course, finally listens to his daughter and learns that change may not be so scary and bad after all.
And that daughters, like all modern children (but especially daughters) are not meant to be told “what to do” because they often know better than adults, especially when it comes to socio-cultural issues pertaining to a: the Environment or b: Anything and everything else.
Okay well that’s it…that’s my best guess, now I can go be pleasantly surprised (like I was with the “Incredibles”) or have my worst fears confirmed (as with “Over the Hedge”).
I will of course re-review it and admit if I was wrong…
I promise the rest of the RWR crew (many of whom have watched it already) will make certain of that.
Until then remember every story teaches us something…what did you learn from you’re favorite film?
Random Writes & Rongs 