Netflix; Nuggets & Nasties

Well hello everyone it’s been quite awhile since we’ve all had time to sit down together and watch any movies on our favorite streaming service NetFlix but tonight I’ve talked everyone

Unaffiliated.

to come over and watch one of my personal favorites that’s just hit the New Releases category.

Now if you haven’t seen one of these NFN&N posts before, remember the purpose isn’t to thoroughly review those big new movies on NetFlix.

No we’re not even really technically reviewing* the movies we talk about, at least that’s not the main impetus, we just wanted to be more like a clearing house of info, here to point out the good (and bad) movies you may not normally have the time or desire to sift through on NetFlix.

Sure Hunger Games, Skyfall, Avengers & more are all on NetFlix right now, but if ya haven’t seen ’em, you’ve at least heard about them. Also there’s the fact that most likely you and everyone else have gotten all the news, reviews, thumbs up or down etc, regarding these films.

But what about those other films, those nuggets and or nasties that make up the rest of the 80-90% of NetFlix?

What about Pontypol, Deathwatch (great nuggets) and Cockneys & Zombies or  In The Name Of The King(Nasties)?

Now there are a couple caveats to these NFN&N posts.

 

The first is really a two in one kinda deal,  my age and location.

I’m old(ish) n not up to date on the internet hipster subculture so once in awhile we may review a nugget or nasty that is a already semi or well known social media (cult) favorite (Detective Dee for instance). Often when I get excited about a movie the rest of the staff has to point out that in fact it was pretty popular. Sometimes I have already written and published the post when they tell me this.

But added to it is the fact we live and work in a 1 theater town. Many great movies with limited releases never make it to Palace City.

The other exception to this rule is of course, the extraordinary number of fantastic older hit movies that are regularly available on NetFlix. Many of you, being of course much younger, may not have seen and might possibly overlook some great films…

Which leads us to today’s NetFlix Nugget.

 Angel Heart

This 1987 (Sir)Alan Parker film starring De Niro & Rourke is, despite some now dated 80’s movie-isms (Mickey Rourke as a leading man and check out the smooth sax soundtrack aka Lethal Weapon) is definitely a must see film for movie lovers.

Okay first let me say that if you love the art of film making, any Alan Parker film is a safe bet. I haven’t watched every film of his, Angela’s Ashes is a fine example, but many people love it and swear it’s a beautiful film.

His resume though is quite impressive and of course he has been knighted by the queen and made one of my favorite movies “Pink Floyd’s-The Wall” so there’s all that.

But enough about the good Sir Parker and back to Lisa Bonet’s Breasts, well okay Lisa Bonet..

I once owned a well worn copy of this video 🙂

Her breasts were great in this film, but If there is a weakness to this film it’s her portrayal of Voo-Doo (Vodou) priestess Epiphany Proudfoot…

Maybe Sir Parker thought her breasts were better at acting than she was. What you thought I was gonna make a Janet Jackson reference didn’t ya?

It was a big deal when the film came out, remember she was a Huxtable…Mr. Cosby himself commented negatively in the press regarding her choices and it was the end of her character on “The Cosby Show”…(For you younger readers TV in the mid to late 80’s was “The Cosby Show” & then a bunch of other shows.)

Besides Miss Bonet the rest of the cast is outstanding. Di Nero is of course, amazing in his portrayal of the mysterious rich client who hires Mickey Rourke’s hard boiled, whiskey basted, gumshoe detective.

Di Nero’s deliciously debonair and devious.

Private Investigator Harry Angel (Rourke) is hired by Di Nero’s character through a surrogate to find a missing pre-WW II crooner known as Johnny Favorite.

Rourke is perfect as Angel, the surly, sloppy Brooklyn P.I.

Hoping to get ahead in the case, he gets a hand instead.

The Mickey Rourke we have in this (and other 80’s movies) was the small, edgey, “serious aboout his craft” Rourke…before the all the boxing nonsense and the Charles Atlas transformation. I’ mean seriously Mickey! I understand working our but… it’s like you cloned yourself and then swallowed the clone whole. Granted, you now bring double the Rourke intensity to every freakishly misshapen roll you play I’ll give ya that, but how many of those roles can there be Mick? Can I call ya Mick?

Wow I’m already well over 500 words & I haven’t really talked about the movie much let alone that it comes from a good book called, Fallen Angel. But that’s okay ’cause this is a movie best seen with as little fore-knowledge as possible.

If you haven’t seen Angel Heart we heart-ily suggest you check it out on NetFlix asap.

If you’re an old movie buff like me and you remember this great film check it out again and see how well this psych/thriller period piece, stands the test of time.

Jesus what’s th…oh Mickey sorry. Say ya know what I’m thinking…Hunchback II, Until the Last Bell Rings huh? Huh? See this time ol’  Hunchy is a bare knuckle brawler in an underground…

 

 

 

 

Netflix; Nuggets & Nasties

Welcome everybody to another episode of Netflix;Nuggets & Nasties I know you all (all 2 or 3 of you) have been eagerly anticipating my report on “The Croods” and don’t worry your pretty little heads I will deliver shortly…

Unaffiliated.

But before I do we here at RWR wanted to give a nod out to our top quick Nug picks available on NetFlix.

“Is it Safe?”

The Classic Choice: If you only have time for one Movie this week-end make it Marathon Man, if you haven’t seen this excellent thriller staring Dustin Hoffman it is definitely must see material. Never has the innocently asked question “Is it safe?” seemed so threatening. This Movie was the overall  #1 pick

Umm…Ya just gotta see it…really.

Runner up is the adaptation of Joseph Heller’s novel, the 1970 classic Catch 22. This is another film you, especially our younger viewers, may not have yet experienced. An excellent comedy featuring a stellar cast and a piece of 70’s film history you should eventually explore.

We all love ducks now!

Brain Gain: We’re big fans of the great documentaries, and plenty of them, available on NetFlix at the moment and if you can only watch one our top pick is DUCKumentary, another excellent offering from the folks at PBS’s Nature features outstanding narration by one of our favorites, Paul Giamatti, and such beautiful HD cinematography your TV becomes a portal to the marshes of North America.

Exposing animal prejudices and species on species violence.

Our runners up are Eternal Enemies, an extremely honest look at the often brutal relationship between Lions and Hyenas in the African grasslands (this was my top pick, Go Lions!) and for non nature lovers The City Dark is an excellent choice and complex enough to make it worthy of multiple viewings.

Their terror is your hilarity.

For Entertainment Purposes Only: Alright if you haven’t seen Tucker n Dale Vs. Evil yet, well then this is our numero uno pick…I argued against it only because I’m pretty sure everyone has seen it already.

The” Best Actor You May Not Have Heard of Award” goes to…

If you haven’t, well make a date with funny tonight. Granted you must be tolerant of blood, gore and plenty of cursing that comes with T&D vs Evil, one of the funniest movies we’ve seen and a insanely clever twist on an over done classic horror theme.

Amazingly enough, this wasn’t my top pick, but I love the film so am happy it won just the same.

No I just figured it wasn’t enough of a nugget.

Heck it stars Alan Tudyk and he’s a household name…around our house.

Despite the title this is not a movie featuring a Nancy Drew type character.

My pick was Detective Dee & Mystery of the Phantom Flame, a movie I didn’t watch forever just because the title seemed so…lame.

Now of course I love both the rockin’ awesome title and the movie. In Phantom Flame the action really heats up.

This time the girl’s in the wheel chair.

Our odd man out this time is another excellent import from China, The Four.

A great oddball film possibly best described as X-Men meets Chinese Action/Adventure Film.

The Four equals fun.

The Croods from Dreamworks Ent.

Okay a huge range of watchable material and now yes even I gotta admit…so was DreamWorks “The Croods“.

A fantastically fun, stunningly animated romp through a wonderland of trippy plants and animals.

I would still argue that I was for the most part right…just missed the fine points and a couple of tweaks (tweaks not twerks) to the overall usual thematic schema of today’s propaganda disguised as fluff, Animated Children’s Films.

Still unclear as to the movies message…Yea okay Girl power…but isn’t she still following a boy?

Though the propaganda wasn’t favoring my schema as in the overwhelmingly kick butt Incredibles nor as blatantly left leaning as any of the “Anything Featuring A Penguin” Movie.

Oh the big P was still there…it was just muddled which made it for the most part ignorable (for the most part).

I expected to be blasted in the face and except for the one “pouty” dad scene it was relatively (ridiculously) unclear.

Instead I was treated to a relatively minor morally abrasive tale that was actually pretty darn funny and beautifully animated.

I made some jokey reference in the last couple posts about acid, that is LSD use here at RWR, and while I assure you that of course was not true, I did think about acid while watching this movie. The digital scenery is fun, inventive and breathtakingly animated.

One of those places a man could settle down.

Bear in mind they went with the fantasy approach to their primeval world, but they went for it with bravado and it paid off for me. I certainly would live there despite the flying piranha birds and giant headed cats.

“The Croods” was better than I thought it’d be. If I let pass some of the more goofy socio-new agerey I actually found myself enjoying it.

I doubt it will become a perennial favorite around my house…but I may give it a watch again or two.

Okay well that was by far our longest NF;N &N post so definitely will keep it shorter next time.

Thanks for watching everyone and watch for our next episode where we dig up more great NetFlix Nuggets.

Netflix; Nuggets & Nasties

Welcome Ooga Booga and hello one and all to another episode of Netflix: Nuggets & Nasties!

Image used ’cause I wanna look official…I’m not…NetFlix is most likely unaware of this use of their fine logo…

And today along with our regular funtastic review of a Netflix Nugget, I’m gonna go out on a limb personally and pre-review “The Croods”…

Pre-review why tha’s crr-azy, the rest of the RWR staff is claiming no involvement here and that’s okay…I feel confident in my own inimitable fashion that my knowledge of whats going to transpire in this film is going to be relatively spot on.

That being said let’s look at our Nugget first shall we…

1. Ironclad

This 2011 film starring James Purefoy as Knights Templar Thomas Marshall and the always amazing Paul Giamatti as King John; has the caption “blood will run” and they ain’t kidding.

The movie, directed by Jonathan English (he also receives a writing credit along with Erick Kastel) is classified as an adventure film, but that seems to diminish all that this excellent movie brings to the medieval banquet hall.

Brian Cox and Paul Giamatti get acquainted,

The story looks at the turbulent and bloody history surrounding the signing of the Magna Carta, or the Great Charter.

The film opens just after the signing.

Is it just me, or am I gettin’ screwed here?

The Templar’s having aided Dukes, Barons and other nobles in their “up-rising” against the King,  are understandably a tad weary about traveling in full Templar regalia and advertising who they are.

When good Knights go bad!

And rightly they should be as things quickly get…crunchy (to use a term we heard on Olympic Snowboarding this week-end).

Simon Schama (shay-ma)

As usual we won’t give much of the plot away here though the majority of the film is spent dealing with the 1215 siege of Rochester Castle…Which we amazingly enough already knew quite a lot about (Thanks Simon Schama!).

Brian Cox as William d’Somethin or other.

Anyway, great historical approach, wonderful performances from everyone including Brian Cox who is great as William d’Aubigny Lord of Belvoir Castle, one of the Nobles who fought against the tyranical (sic) King John.

Oh and yes there is a great romantic angle for you ladies.

Insert phallic innuendo here.

Gentlemen if your gal isn’t too squeamish and loves British Historical Romance Adventure Dramas this would make a great Valentines Night film.

Jason Flemyng as Beckett

But rest assured guys, from the first mace bashing the face, to the cleaving in half (open mouth amazement at the battle scenes special effects crew), Thomas Marshall’s great sword nearly cutting an enemy clean in two…vertically, you are going to love this film.

And did we mention it has Vikings…Vikings!

All of us at RWR really enjoyed it.

We think you’ll have a smashing good time as well.

 

Okaay okay on to it.

My prognostication over the animated film “The Croods”

Now I’m just ballparking here, going for the characters, story and overall “intention” or socio-cultural moral behind the tale…(this is why the rest of the Blogophesto staff has abandoned me on this)

Wait this movie is just a fun kids movie right?

See I’ve, we’ve all of us seen this movie before.

So again I don’t feel what I’m doing is that hard.

Before I start lemme caveat by saying that I have seen(ish) the poster icon and some of

The Croods from DreamWorks Ent.

what I am saying comes from that. I won’t put any other pictures up because to do so might sway or influence me one way or t’other.

There’s a family, prototypical, not like the new normal, but like the bad old normal.

A dad, a mom, two maybe three kids and an animal for laughs (or maybe as a sensitive male foil to the Dad a la Brian in Family Guy).

Okay the basic story is thus, the Dad, not the stern task master of the King Neptune mold, but the lovable meaning well buffoon variety, (this I take from the poster) is obsessed somehow with keeping things “as they are”.

He is relatively incapable, and really only managed to keep his family alive through dumb luck or his wife’s (secret so as not to hurt his fragile male ego) interventions.

Now something has or is soon to happen (I’m betting an environmental calamity) that threatens to shake up his family unit.

The Dad of course acts with overbearing ignorance, however sweetly well meaning the poor oaf, and denies/obfuscates gets angry and then sheepishly follows.

Now in many instances the Mom would be the storyline’s heroine, but and again here, from the poster, I’m betting it’s the older girl…

What no of course not the older son, we’ll get to him a little farther down.

No it’s going to be the girl. She is full of the desire to break free from the stranglehold of the old traditions. And wants to prove that she can do whatever a man can do and more!

She understands the extent of the dangerous they face by clinging to the old ways and the upcoming pending environmental apocalypse better than anyone if only someone would listen to her!!

She’s definitely not the kind of young cave woman who wants to grow up barefoot and pregnant (God are we still talking about that!).

She is daring and dashing, ready to take risks and reach the stars…(all here-to-for in general considered male qualities). She wants to break free from the restraints that bind her.

Her older brother on the other hand is nervous, unsure of himself, wants to back Dad, but also isn’t interested in typical cave boy activities and wishes his Dad, who only does it as compensation for his own inadequacies, wouldn’t push him so hard.

In the end, as his world threatens to collapse around the family he has tried so hard to protect using all the ignorance he can muster, dad, with help from mom of course, finally listens to his daughter and learns that change may not be so scary and bad after all.

And that daughters, like all modern children (but especially daughters) are not meant to be told “what to do” because they often know better than adults, especially when it comes to socio-cultural issues pertaining to a: the Environment or b: Anything and everything else.

Okay well that’s it…that’s my best guess, now I can go be pleasantly surprised (like I was with the “Incredibles”) or have my worst fears confirmed (as with “Over the Hedge”).

I will of course re-review it and admit if I was wrong…

I promise the rest of the RWR crew (many of whom have watched it already) will make certain of that.

Until then remember every story teaches us something…what did you learn from you’re favorite film?

Netflix; Nuggets & Nasties

Welcome to another installment in that ever popular series here at RWR, Netflix; Nuggets & Nasties.

Used without permission

Today fer the first time we’re gonna take a look at one of our “Nasties”, a film you should definitely avoid.

Of course, this is our opinion only…I mean taste in movies is subjective.

No thanks I’m tryin to quit.

A lot of people loved “Terms of Endearment” or “Fried green Tomatoes”. They must have some redeeming qualities of course, ’cause I mean they were, are still darn popular. But you will not see those films, or any reasonable facsimile of, on our “must watch” lists.

You may want to find a more feminine movie reviewing staff if this is the case.

Also remember that in this series of posts it is not our designed purpose to give reviews of the hit films coming onto Netflix, though occasionally that may happen.

No, we here at RWR are reviewing all those other films.

NetFlix has far more B list, C (and even further down the alphabet) movies and documentaries than it does big budget new releases

We’re not complaining, many of these films are “B” movies in theory only. Lack of star power, foreign films that Americans aren’t as readily exposed to, small budget to no budget films, we have found many hidden gems in the NetFlix library.

And we’re here to bring them to you.

See, we know that shuffling through the “poster icons” and trying to pick a movie can not only be mind numbingly tedious at times, but who’s to say whether that new alien zombie movie has any actual merit, or just a really cool poster.

Most people we know won’t even take a chance on something like oh…pick one at random…say “Alien Dawn”

And that’s probably good because that movie sucks!

But how about “Yellow Brick Road”, in that case you’d be missing out, ’cause this independent little low budget film is pretty darn good…

But we’re not here to discuss hidden Nuggets today.

We’re here to discuss one of the Nasties that we beg you to avoid wasting even the ten brief minutes it will take you to realize you’ve just wasted ten minutes.

Ya know how some films are so bad they’re actually good.

None of these Nasties will ever fit that criteria.

They’re just bad.

2009 Against the Dark could be retitled Against Common Sense

So the first Nasties pick is the Steven Seagal comeback vehicle “Against the Dark“.

Don’t make me kill you…I mean it…I’m exhausted just holding this blade up!

Unfortunately Mr. Seagal seems to have taken too much Xanax and drives this vehicle straight into a brick wall.

First, like many of the movies on NetFlix (especially in the horror genre) it appears to be made by people with too much money, time and opinion of their film making abilities.

Though CIA/Buddhist Monk/Wise Guy Steven is laughable in this (term used loosely) movie, it is still surprising based on the production values that he agreed to sign on to the project in the first place.

I’m not wheezing! That’s just my heart trying to pump blood that’s 57% cholesterol

Perhaps the producer is his mistress’s first cousin, perhaps his medication dosage needs to be monitored more closely, either way his career (again term used loosely) is not going to be helped by having his name attached to this millstone.

I couldn’t find out much about this film, truthfully I didn’t try real hard. It’s obvious they didn’t either, so I mean, why bother.

It was directed by Richard Crudo and released in 2009 directly to video(DVD). If they had any compassion they would have released it into the nearest trash receptacle,

The guy in the back is a method actor.
His method is to pretend that he’s acting.

One of the keys to a good director isn’t just how they deal with their big stars, but the supporting cast, the bit parts and extras. Here Mr. Crudo skipped all that hard directing work and went for laissez-faire approach of instructing his actors to just walk around and do some stuff.

Oh Steven, this was your first horror film, it could have been so great…well at least good…okay possibly watchable if you just had the desire, any desire short of “putting on my sweats later”.

I guess like so many in Hollywood success went to your…well in your case it would be the whole body. Do you live off a diet of glazed doughnuts with cream cheese I mean c’mon.

I gotta get outta here! I can’t take it!
His character’s named Tao for God’s sake! 

Trust us on this, steer clear of our first Nasties pick. “Against the Dark” is against the viewer from the moment Mr. Seagal begins to shamble across the screen.

Netflix; Nuggets & Nasties

Well Happy Thanksgiving Eve everyone. And welcome to another  episode of Netflix Nuggets & Nasties here at RWR.

Used without permission

Source: wiki

Now as you may recall in our last exciting adventure we reviewed the wonderfully fun little film “Troll Hunter” and now I’m sure your all big fans of the Norwegian film industry huh?

Well I mean who knows, ya should’a watched it but don’t worry ’cause I’ll review all kind’s of films, comedy specials, documentaries, what ever I really like and want to promote and I’m sure I’ll find a nugget for you someday.

But I promised ya more didn’t I.

I also promised to bring the Nasties, the bad, bad, countlessley bad films available on Netflix and give them their day in the sun as well as give you fair warning.

‘Cause lets face it, though I love Netflix, have and would every time choose Netflix over cable. Tell all my friends, and sometimes even strangers about the greatness of the service and would in no way balk at being employed by said forward thinking and employee centered comp.any doing jes what I’m doin…providin this wonderful informative series.

That being said I jes gotta ask you folks I mean who is in charge of that monkey house…do you people even read yer own meta data how can a movie such as hold on while I scroll okay say…”Fargo” be listed in Action,(okay), Thriller (okay) Drama (Mmm o-okay) Romance (Umm..I don’t know what Mrs Cop & Duck Stamp Guy? What?) Comedy (No! No I will not accept that absolutely not!).

Cohen Bros Yea!!

Okay well actually I’m not on it right now, I was on earlier when I started this post but I started watching a “New Release” which of course got me thinking.

Can I ask just what you think that means?

Or how about “Recently Added” if a movie spends eighteen months on the recently added list just what does that mean?

Now New Releases I have to assume means to Netflix, not as in actual newly released films.

And that’s okay. It’s just that again what is your defintion of new as it relates to a measured unit of time?

How long before a film becomes unqualified as a Netflix New Release?

‘Cause I gotta I have seen a film stay in this category until long after its shelf life has expired.

And then sometimes the film goes off this category, is listed in say Horror Movies and then a few weeks later is back on Recently Added List…Wha, wha, wha, what?

Okay so as you can see I’m never gonna get to my Nasties pick “Against the Dark” with Steven Seagal but that’s okay for two reasons.

Steven Seagal…He’s got the medicated puffiness of an ex star on the fringe.

1. After doin a lot of research for this continued series I realized that this dog of a film, where old Mr. Seagal seems to have doubled up on his dose on Xanax for the duration of filming, is still not nearly the worst film available on my beloved Netflix and
2. I felt this overall review of some of the quirkier(like their love of the word quirky)aspects of Netflix would be a good starting point for the Nasties category.

Cause whats more nasty than searching out an action comedy only to discover twenty minutes in that yer watchin a Dramady with special emphasis on the Drama…

Or thinking that yer watching the hit movie “Battle for Los Angeles” and can’t figure out how it got so popular with such low production values.

Until you pause the movie and read the meta data with more care and realize its a “not to be confused with” movie, Battle of Los Angeles.

In fact there are so many of these movies on Netflix I wonder why they just don’t make it a separate meta data category: Battle of Los Angeles, Jack The Giant Slayer,  Battle Ships, at any given time there are easily more “not to be confused with” movies than there are the hits that spawned them.

Do I love Netflix, yes, heck I even love some of the Nasties I’m gonna feature.

Do I love Netflix meta data people…well I guess yes I do, who else could come up with the category “Quirky Psychological Visually Striking Dramedey Thriller with a Strong Transgender Lead”

Ahh Netflix you may not now how to categorize, but ya sure bring me great entertainment, and sometimes I don’t even have to start the movie.

Top 13 Films fer Halloween Night Pt. VI

Alright Yee Haw, well here we are I’d love to say it’s been a long road worth traveling, but that would be coloring this exercise in the best light possible.

Happy Halloween

First it wasn’t that long a road. oh sure it’s six posts long altogether, but imagine if I’d attempted a top 50 list huh?

Which brings me to my next  point which is of course, thank God I didn’t try to conquer a 50 movie list. ‘

Cause even though it hasn’t been that a long or difficult a trail, it seems like a pointless one.

After all, I already think I’m hilarious, insightful and brilliant.

Ahh well what’ya do.

Move on and don’t look back. Oh no wait…

Let’s look back a little bit.

Let’s run through some of my runner up’s, in no apparent order and with no description.

Many of these are on Netflix* right now so if none of my other movies grab ya perhaps ya can watch one of these: The Corridor*, Deathwatch* (British WW1 horror not the other), Dark Skies*, Slither* (even after I ruled it out I like it so much almost added back), Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Dawn of the Dead, Dogs of War,  30 Days of Night,  Mama, Sixth Sense, Signs,  The Frankenstein Theory*, Nightwatch* (Kick ass Russian horror movie) Come Out and Play*, The Awakening*, Hypothermia*, Insidious,  The Fourth Kind.

All of the movie’s above are certainly worth a watch and more than a few of them were in serious contention for a place on the top 13 list. Though they ended up in the “almost” category each one is scaretastic Halloween viewing.

But all this is jes filler, jes padding to help draw out the excitement and anticipation of my number one pick which I will reveal in my next post…

No I’m jes messin with ya.

But enough lets get to it and see jes what is my…

all time Horror movie pick.

Jacobs Ladder

My dear Lord Jesus this is one scary, unsettling, creepy, uncomfortable, mind f%#$ of a film.

If you have not seen Jacob’s Ladder a 1990 film starring Tim Robbins instant stream it directly after you finish this post.

Don’t look at me Tim. I don’t know what’s going on either?

Jacob Singer (played by Tim Robbins) is a Vietnam Vet returned from war and working for the United States Postal Service. Jacob is having some issues. I won’t spoil the movie here, but take it from me, PTSD may be the least of Jacob’s worries.

Calling Dr. HalfFace to the Creepitologist dept!

Luckily he has a good doctor.

Umm…Not somethin ya wanna run into at the carnival.

Jacob’s Ladder is a Psychological horror film. With special emphasis on the Psychological part.

Despite being number1 at the box office the weekend it was released it did not do well in the long run and eventually only earned 26 million for Tri-Stars Studio.

It’s critical reception did not fare much better Roger Ebert of Chicago Sun-Times wrote that watching it left him “reeling with turmoil and confusion, with feelings of sadness and despair,” and called it “thoroughly painful and depressing experience. (source: wiki).

But none the less I loved it and it has been a perennial “let me show you” favorite of mine.

Jacob’s Ladder terrifies and confuses you while yer watching. Haunts you with the creebie jeebies long after, and like the best movies on this list forces you to contemplate all that it means to be a human.

Jacob’s Ladder-The Dysu’s #1 Halloween flic pic.

If yer looking to climb to the next level of horror this Halloween, I could offer no better way to get there than Jacob’s Ladder.

Well there ya have it everyone,my  top 13 Halloween films.

Thanks fer stoppin by and feel free to leave a comment.

No really I like comments.

(cue cricket noise)

Top 13 Films fer Halloween Night Pt. V

Happy Halloween All!

Well Happy Halloween everybody I’m back with the next three picks on my Top 13 Halloween films list.

So far I’ve had a lot of great response to my first 11 picks….No actually I’ve had no response at all.  Crickets chirping make more noise.

Great film, but not a horror film.

Be that as it may I shall not be deterred from finishing my list.  And yea, this is my list of my favorite scary movies. I have a number of rules that I have self imposed, This is partly due to my list being small. Partly due to all the other online best horror movie list driving me crazy with their picks. Often these lists include movies that aren’t specifically “Horror Movies” like “Silence of the Lambs” or “Pans Labyrinth”  bizarre cult favorites like “Susperia” or “Freaks”, and overly stuffed with old timey classics like “Frankenstein” or “The Invisible Man” or even “Bride of Frankenstein”…I mean bride of Frankenstein really?

First of all the bride wasn’t for Frankenstein, it was for his Monster…right, you all know that right…the Monsters name isn’t Frankenstein.  That was the Dr.’s name, his monster was jes called Monster…

Okay so I got caught on a personal rant. Sorry, but yea the monster’s not Frankenstein, jes in case ya missed it.

4. Silver Bullet

Okay so this movie is another Stephen King Movie, and it rarely makes anybodies top Horror lists. But as far as pure scares I will put this movie up against the “Shining” any day.

Busey does an adequate job of playing a Busey like character.

Silver Bullet the 1985 adaptation of the King novella, “Cycle of the Werewolf” is a fun little movie that doesn’t take itself so seriously. But that doesn’t mean it lacks a quality story and some fine, if now dated, special effects. The acting is acceptable and ol’ Gary Busey hadn’t quite turned into such a parody of himself yet so even his performance is acceptable.

Being married to the Log Lady will do that to ya.

Now in the spirit of full disclosure this fourth pick was the hardest to make a final decision on. And as well I really wanted to get a werewolf movie on this list, (cause the idea of werewolves is damn scary to me).

A fun scary film without pretense.

So in the long run this dark horse got added to the race late and has probably pulled of somewhat of an upset. If I could go back I might bump it down a few spots (or up a few spots…how does that go?)

Be that as it may, like the number 13 pick this movie has a story that lends itself well to a Halloween viewing and could be considered (in today’s modern world) a movie the whole family could enjoy.

Howl Baby, Howl!

If you haven’t seen Steven King’s Silver Bullet yet, tonight might be the perfect opportunity to let your inner werewolf howl.

3. I Am Legend

Okay so this movie was up for serious contention for number one spot. Even after a number of viewings it still does the job.

Out of the all movies on my list 2007 I Am Legend has what I consider the scariest scene. You know which one I mean. Yea the one where the dog runs into the abandoned building.

If you haven’t seen it I won’t spoil it. It is one scary ass moment in American Cinema.

The big problem is it comes early in the film. And okay yea the rest of the movie has scares but, at least to me, no where near equal the tension and terror of that brief few minutes.

The film though also has some real down time. Wait don’t get me wrong, I own the film. Love it. But it is so much more than another end of the world horror flic.

Like the 1954 book of the same name by Richard Matheson, the story is of course really about the human condition, about loneliness.

I love this films vision and cinematography.

This makes I Am Legend more than a great horror film. With an excellent script, fantastic cinematic imagery, and as always an Oscar worthy performance by Will Smith I Am Legend is simply a great film.

Bump us down fer being too good will ya?

Which is of course a plus in the real world, but knocks it down two spots on my list.

2. Alien

By now so much has already been said and discussed about this movie it’s hard to know where to start. And if you haven’t seen this 1980 Scifi/Horror Classic yet I’m not sure what to say.

The disheveled and disparate crew of the “Nostromo”

Alien may be the most tension filled movie on the list. It was a pretty fierce debate and after I bumped I Am Legend out of first fer awhile it was going to be Alien staring Sigourney Weaver and Tom Skerritt (to name but 2 of the great actors in the cast).

It has been said a number of times that the movie has a slow begining, and while that’s true it serves the movie well as we have time to grow and bond with our favorite characters. (which of course has been also duely noted by many a great and unkown critics before me.)

Harry Dean Stanton gets’ got.

Which leads me to my one issue with having Alien included on the list. What can I talk about that hasn’t already discussed ad nauseum? The scene with John Hurt, H.R. Giger’s art work and influence.

Out of all the movie’s on my short list this one has the most likelihood of being seen numerous times by you, my faithful reader.

If you haven’t somehow seen this excellent and intensely scary film yet, crawl out from under that rock and get a copy for tonight’s festivities.

Mmm! What’s that filling?

If you have already seen it, it’s not too late to through a Halloween Boarding Party, jes don’t ferget the deviled eggs.

Okay all jes one more pic to go.

Stay tuned later today when I reveal my personal choice for scariest Horror movie in American Cinema.

Top 13 Films fer Halloween Night Pt. IV

Happy Halloween From the…??
Wait what is that?!

Well we’re gettin close everyone. Halloweens right around the corner and I still got seven picks left to account for.

I’ll tell ya now jes so yer aware Ghost Dad’s is not on my list. Yes it’s scary but it’s not a horror film.

Quick look up at the top of the post. See where it says pt. IV (4). That means that this list started three posts ago. If yer feelin lost feel free to go there now.

Okay so either ya did or ya jes don’t care. Either way let’s get started.

7: 28 Days Later

The movie that changed Zombies forever. I mean I gotta admit Zombies are scary. But slow Zombies leave a movie goer (at least this Movie goer) with the idea that…”I could outrun those things.” That removes a large amount of the fear factor for me.

It’s why I can never really be afraid of a movie like “Chucky” I mean heck the little guy’s only three feet tall and made of plastic. Any thing I can kick across the room with one foot does not inspire fear in me. That goes fer evil children, dolls, toys, puppets, cats. I’m sorry again all you “Pet Cemetary” fans that’s jes me.

Wha…wha…what? They’re fast now? Ahh crap I’m doomed!

But I’m off track ’cause I’m talking about what does scare me. And the zombies in “28 Days Later” did indeed do jes that.

These weren’t my Grandad’s zombies. Half animate shuffling often barely held together pieces of ruined flesh driven by their insatiable desire…for brains. No these were bestial, animal fast, often barely held together pieces of ruined flesh driven by their desire for brains.

28 D.L. is one of the first films on my list that ranks high in almost every top horror lists. It was a huge success both with critics and audiences around the world. Mainly for the reason I pointed out above. “Man those zombies are freakin fast!”

The zombie, once a kind of laughable creature, right up there with the mummy and Frankenstein Monster, became in one two hour film a new breed of terrifying creature.

Zombies you want to hang with.

Remember the classic “helicopter” scene?

If in old movies such as 1978’s “Day of the Dead” the undead came on like a relentless if slow moving flood, these new zombies comes on like a swift tsunami, a wave (great shots in WWZ) that will swallow you in mere seconds.

Zombies who ruin the party.

28 Days Later, a great Zombie flic, is perfect for Halloween, unlike the Sandra Bullock dramadey, 28 Days…so check the title carefully.

6: Paranormal Activity

Okay well I know some purest will give me a hard time for this choice but, they’re just lucky I put this film above five…What?

What makes this film so scary? Here…here jes look at this…

C/mon tell me you didn’t watch that scene and wonder…Is my mate standing and looking at me in the middle of the night?

Maybe every wife does this…who knows? Maybe that’s how they find everything out? Even without the whole ghost angle, yer wife walking around in the middle of the night’s kind’a scary.

Cheez I mean creepy. I swear after watching this movie I had to fight the urge to buy NV cameras in case crap was going on while I was sleeping.

Okay I didn’t. The point was this movie made it hard for me to go to sleep that first night after watching it and not too many movies do that for me anymore.

Apparently my friends the film snobs who look down their nose at this little independent film are in the minority because this film made a ton of cash. Supposedly the most profitable film ever made (source:wiki).

Now they have made jes a few of these P.A. films and the style has been as of recently kind’a over utilized making it cliche less than seven years after it hit the screen. But i guess that’s the horror of modern day Hollywood’s “independent” productions. if one movie is good, one hundred movies jes like it must be a hundred times as good.

Still ya ever heard a crash in yer house, woke up thinking you’d just heard something. Caught yer wife with a butcher knife standing at the foot of yer bed. Then you know the feeling this movie creates.

A “real” scary movie

I liked the first PA far more than those that followed, as often is the case.

I really loved the concentration on the characters, the slow building of tension till it comes to a full boil and yer hanging on the edge of yer sofa in a darkened living room all alone thinkin’ “ahh crap I gotta go to sleep soon!”

If haunted house and ghost stories are yer thing I think you might find Paranormal Activity an excellent film to enjoy on a spooky Halloween night.

Jes keep that night vision camera ready for when ya try to go to bed. Trust me you’ll sleep better.

5: Ringu (the Ring)

This horror film from the island of Japan unleashed a slew of both great Japanese horror masterpieces as well as their often not so equal American counterparts.

The Ring is both a good original and adequate American copy, but if yer gonna watch one of ’em this Halloween please, please pick the Japanese version. Oh yea with subtitles-don’t be a wuss (if yer gonna learn to love movies lip-synched versions are no way to go).

Okay on to the film. This movie was scary had had one heck of an ending. Really took me by surprise. If you haven’t seen it yet don’t worry I won’t ruin it here. but…

“Oh crap what’s that!”

That being said as we neared the end of the movie it was obvious to me, a life long movie goer where we were headed and then..wham.

Okay ending aside this movie contains scares galore. Had a great story and new and unsettling special effects that are still being copied today.

Didn’t we cancel cable?

The creepy ghost girl seems somehow creepier in the original version. And I hope that’s not some hidden comment on my xenophobia. but yea I mean look at these pics I’ve included.

Creepy Standing?

Ringu is Japan’s highest grossing horror film (sourced:wiki) and obviously scares Japanese viewers as much as it does Americans as it’s considered the most “frightening film” in Japan.

I know it scares the bejebus out of me and is, while not as bad as PA above. Another movie I’d rather not watch jes before i go to sleep.

Okay where’s the popcorn balls?

Why not invite ol Sadako over to yer house to help “Ring” in the Halloween season…Okay that was a bit of a stretch but, you won’t regret bringing this now classic horror film home fer some 幽霊のような Tricks n Treats.

Top 13 Films fer Halloween Night Pt. III

Well it’s been a whirlwind of activity here at Blogaphesto, headquarters of RWR and other fantastic blogs. There has been so much response to the first two “Top 13…” posts that we had to take on an extra intern to handle the work load.

Happy Halloween

Okay well no, not really. Not one comment yet.

And maybe that’s my fault. Ya see I stopped hitting like or commenting on most of the blogs I read. Howz come you wonder? Well that’s not really the topic of this post, nor the type of subject matter we deal with here at RWR but I’ll try to touch on it quick anyway.

Suffice to say that we were getting a lot of random likes from people who obviously weren’t actually reading our posts. They were jes fishing for likes for their own live laugh loverey posts or newest Cool Colored Cupcake page.

Second a lot of blogs are now simply people shilling a product or line of products under the guise of hip new media. I don’t have time to sift through all that and figure who actually likes me.

Now people who comment are different, any real blogger who comments I will come visit their site, see if we have things in common, etc.

I like commenting on others blogs, probably to the annoyance of those blogs authors, it is to laugh, but whatever bastards, I write what I want and do what I want.

Like this list…this is my list and ya know what, screw everyone else my choice for number nine is.

9: The Violent Kind

Look it even says Halloween on the poster

I did not know before I watched this movie that nearly every critic, reviewer, and Rotten Tomato subscriber had panned the 2010 Butcher Bros (Directors: Mitchell Altieri and Phil Flores) film.

I love the movie but had not planned originally to include it due to it not being as outright “scary” as some of the others in my list.

However, I think this is a great film, fun, scary, mysterious, creepy characters, good script, cinematography, soundtrack. I mean it’s a kick ass movie.

After I watched it of course I went to learn what I could about the film and found it was trashed for being trash, a bad bad movie.

Included in those critics though was one compelling nugget which made me go back and view the film again. One reviewer in blasting the film compared it to  Sam Rami’s “The Evil Dead” (which I love but is not on my 13 list, don’t despair jes yet ED fans). Trying to insult the movie by comparing it to Evil Dead only inspired me to watch it again.

And ya know I loved it even more, talked the movie up to everyone I know, and it now holds an esteemed place in the “movies I own” category.

But didn’t I say earlier that it wasn’t going to make the list. Well yea because like another of my favorite modern horror films “Slither” it’s just so much fun to watch, the laughs and scares are about equal. TVK jes has a few more scares than laughs, and while researching for these posts I had the chance to reread all the criticism of the film and was inspired to give it a spot on my list.

A fun bunch of folks.

If you haven’t seen it yet this Halloween would be a perfect time to invite the whole gang over.

Vernon, Jazz, Trixie,  Pussywagon & of course Murderball, can’t forget that freak, they love a good party.

Who are they? Where are they from? That’s part of the fun. And I wouldn’t ant to spoil it fer ya.

As to what they want.  They’re just a friendly bunch lookin fer a good time…the violent kind!

8: Evil Dead Pt 2

Alright so yea there are some laughs in this film. Some people would even go so far as to say I’m breaking my own rules by giving a nod to this film but again…my list etc…

Yes it’s got a heavy independent movie feel, is billed as a horror comedy, is a cult favorite and (along with ED1)set the groundwork for many iconic “Rami-isms”, film techniques the Director went on to use in everything from 1990’s excellent but ahead of it’s time “Darkman” to the huge studio production of “Spiderman” in 2002. And so is a classic in more sense than one. but all that aside I’m still putting it in my list.

I’m a big fan of both Sam Rami and Bruce Campbell, so what, that and of the above still does not take away from the fact that this is indeed a scary movie.

A fabulous party host…for a Demon

Poor Ash get’s pushed not only over the edge, but over a number of edges.

Equally humorous, creepy and terrifying,

And again yes, some scenes, like the mounted heads scenes will make you laugh, but it’s an uncomfortable laughter. We want to dismiss it as cheesy because the idea of it happening is far scarier than a guy with a knife. I can fight back against an axe wielding maniac. In ED II Ash must most often fight his own brain and speaking as a crazy person that gets kind’a scary.

Alright yea, yea, ED is like black licorice. Ya like it or ya don’t.

If this is one of those movies that you haven’t quite got to watching yet, that’s always been a maybe on yer to watch list, I say ya have to give it a chance, and no better time than this Halloween.

Ash about to kick some demon ass!

Demons, possessed woods, haunted cabin, a dismembered hand seeking revenge on its’ owner, and a chainsaw arm.

I mean what’s not to love.

I promise this movie will…wait for it…swallow yer soul.

Dead by Dawn…(couldn’t figure out a way to work it into the regular post)

Jes had to work that in somehow.

Okay so we’re six films down, seven to go.

What do you think might be next, “The Exorcist”,  “30 Days of Night”, “Willard”? Leave yer choices or jes a comment in the box below.

 

Top 13 Films fer Halloween Night Pt. II

Trick R Treat

Boris Karloff, Bella Lugosi, Claude Raines, Peter Lorre, Vincent Price, all great’s in the Horror genre and all will  be ignored for the purpose of my list. I’m so sorry Dr. Phibes fans. I’m sorry Dracula devotees. I’m sure the dramatically lit over arched eyebrows and the “I got somethin in my eyes” stare of ol Bella was scary to early movie goers.  But take this movie and Lugosi it’s iconic star, both known as horror classics, take the same themes, the same lame dialogue, arched eyebrows and “evil glare” eyes and apply them to the movie Billy the Kid Vs Dracula with the actor John Carradine in this campy classic.

Ooo-wee-ooo!

Alright so that was a little harsh but, well, this is my list and these are suppose to be movies that scare me.

11: The Mist

Lemme Ax you a question!

Well okay where to begin with this one. Like all my picks this movie does scare me, but it takes a higher place on the list due to some flaws. The Mist, despite being a good film suffers from what many Stephen King films do, it’s based on a story by Stephen King.

Now, now…..Okay I’ll let the noise die down…. Look The Shining, Dead Zone, Carrie, Christine, Cujo, Pet Cemetery, All scary as hell books. But only a few of his books have ended up making quality films, and that’s not always simply the directors or studios fault.

The only Horror here is if you were forced to watch it.

One of the issues is that Mr. King has has an obsession with (slipping it into almost every story) wack-a-doo Christians.

Sometimes it works very well. The actors, director, script writers what have you come together to pull off a good transition from book (where this obsession is less laughably noticeable) to film. Carrie, is a good example of where this worked.

In The Mist, however, the crazy christian lady becomes a pointless and maybe even distracting sub story line.  Okay granted the actress is no Meryl Streep, and yes the character is in the original novella, and okay probably some humans trapped in this store, in this situation would believe it was the end of the world, but did the dialogue have to be so embarrassingly, painfully, stilted and cliche’? I almost felt sorry for that poor actress, or would have if her character wasn’t threatening to ruin the movie for me.

Okay besides all that this movie is scary. But it made my list for a very specific moment in the movie, which I believe might be one of the all time great horrific moments in American cinema.

I don’t want to ruin the movie for you so I won’t mention which specific scene it is (at the very end of the movie) but okay well there I just did so uh…yea…

Still gives me chills jes thinkin bout it.

Anyway Director Frank Darabont re-envisioned the story with a new far more unsettling end. Mr. King himself approved of this rewrite saying “The ending is such a jolt—wham! It’s frightening…” (source Wikipedia, The Mist)

I loved this story when I read it, but was blown away by the film. It didn’t hurt that I have a man crush on Tom Jane who, as always, brings a down to earth “every guy” quality to his role.

The Mist
Paramount Pictures 2007

If you like your monsters movies with a dash of “King-ism” and would like to see a movie where the horror clings to you like a dark cobweb long after the movie ends, definitely  check out 2007’s The Mist from Paramount Pictures

10. The Blair Witch Project

Improvisational Horror and minimalist production struck gold.

This was a tough one to call. When I first saw it, it scared the bejebus out of me. I’ve watched it a number of times since and still find I get scares and chills galore.

The problem lies in it being over hyped and over mimicked so that it’s power has been defused over the past few years. Another issue for me placing it on my list is that so much has been made of it’s groundbreaking web based marketing campaign and it’s independent status. I’ll ackowlegde all that. But I want to make clear that’s not why it’s on the list.

Creepy Arts & Crafts!

This is a scary film. For anyone who has spent time aimlessly hiking in the woods, the odd night sounds of cracking rocks or snapping sticks are at once both familiar and creepy (as they are from inside a tent as well).

The ending of this film, while not as devastating as my first film in this post, still leaves you haunted well after the film ends.

It would be amazing if you hadn’t seen this film yet. But even if you have, a “BWP” themed  party with group viewing could be a great way to spend this Halloween.

Okay there ya go everyone a couple more great picks for Halloween night. Leave a comment and lemme know what ya think. the next picks might be.