comedy | Random Writes & Rongs

Well wow…it’s been a couple weeks or more since I have posted here on Random Writes & Rongs. Of course I have been busy writing, posting on main page, Dysu, political/social rants and ficiton writing…but RWR has, like the second better behaved child, has sat quietly patiently waiting….but April 20th, that’s actually closer to a month…

And well I have plenty of good reasons, chief among being that I just, at this age, am more inclined to do what I want. The exception to this of course is working, I have to earn a little money, enough to pay for a roof, and electricity so that I can write and post things all over the net. I would rate those two things as essentials in my life, the rest is all gravy so to speak, frosting on my little slice of cake as it were.

And speaking of, my most Graviolicious woman, the cream cheese frosting of my life Lil Mouse and I were used car shopping online the other day. Lil’ Mouse was perched on my knee as we scrolled through the page after page. She has been online shopping for months looking to buy “the perfect” car. Nothing flashy, just a solid little compact car, a responsible car, ya know something a librarian might drive.

At one point though, as we all know it can from time to time do, the computer, or my connection to the ol’ net slowed to near nothing, I still had all my bars, but of course the screen stayed on page whatever of Sooland Automall.com, no matter where I clicked and pointed. Next page…next page…next page…back button…bla bla bla you get the point.

Damn Internet lets go!

In the ensuing lull, Lil Mouse began relating to me her favorite picks so far, until she noticed me minimizing, then opening the browser screen over and over rapidly…

“What are you doing?” She asked with a hint of incredulousness creeping into her sweet voice.

“Uh…I don’t know.”

I did know what I thought I was doing, I just didn’t want to say it to her, but God bless ‘er little soul I didn’t have to.

“You’re trying to shake it!”

She was already laughing so hard it was difficult for her to get the words out. There was no use denying it. As soon as she said it I realized I do it all the time. And for that exact reason. I sat and waited for the gales of laughter to die down.

“You were actually trying to shake the internet like some old man hunched over a TV set banging on it for better reception?”

What was I to say? She had me. It was either go bold or go home.

“Yes” I said “You didn’t know you could do that?”

That started her laughing again. Not with me of course, at me.

It’s just nice to know I’m good for something honey…

In the mean time where do I hook this antenna to?

There are few changes in my new electronic life that are on as grand a scale as that of music, or more specifically my music collection, some changes may be more important to my day to day functionality, (I could argue otherwise)but there is no question that on sheer size, no change to my life is bigger (pun intended) than the change this electronic life has brought to my music collection.

See here’s the deal, now I’m not saying I have the largest e-music collection, I have no idea how many music files other people have…but I do know that Lil’ Mouse was lookin’ over my music files (for the last post) when she asked me if I had any idea how many music files I had…

“Uh…”

“Over 14,000!”

That’s when it hit me that this would be a great subject for a E.L. post, cause see I grew up in the seventies so I still think of music files, when I see ’em in my head as albums. And when Lil Mouse said this I immediately saw over 14,000 albums lined on shelves….how much room would that take? And my second thought was thank God for this electronic life, cause I knew what was coming and all I could think of (that is after seeing over 14,000 albums lined up on shelves) is that my files(imagine now 14,000 albums stacked and piled randomly in various areas all over the house) are a mess.

“Well a bunch are probably duplicates” I offered as a weak attempt to avoid her mockery

“Only a few hundred” Lil Mouse quickly countered. Never argue with a cataloger while she’s in the process…”I mean do you even know half these songs?”

“Every single one of them is as dear to my heart as you are Honey?”

Sometimes sarcasm does not go over well with Lil’ Mouse…

“What about this ‘Digging your Scene’ by the Blow Monkey’s” She countered

It's the Blow Monkeys' or me!

“Under the category Crappy Retro New Wave like Kajagoogoo or INXS” I answered using her own lingo “And yes, I do once in awhile listen t…”

“Abba, Neil Diamond, Carpenters?”

“Sappy seventies super hits” I was ready for anything until…

“How about these Alan Menken tunes from various Disney Movies like Hercules?” Oh she’s so funny.

Okay I couldn’t defend those, they were left over from when my oldest daughter still lived at home, and might even be iTunes files that I can no longer access…But still I struggled to think of a good excuse, I mean after all, It’s not like they take up real space, collect dust or any of that, but that didn’t stop (like any good woman worth her weight in honey-do lists) Lil’ Mouse.

“You should go through these files honey and clean them out, straighten them up. Just looking you’ll still have over ten thousand songs, but they will be better organized”

The problem with women (as it applies to honey-do lists) is that they’re so hard to argue against. Yes I should do those things honey, I just really don’t want to.

After the Honey Do's Done-Dancing to Dean-O

And here’s where my electronic “music” life works against me in a couple of ways. If the albums were actually piled all around the house it would be impossible to ignore as effectively as I can when they take up imaginary space (but I guess this is countered by the lack of nagging the music collection incurs[as compared to the nagging the same amount of physical music would lol]). However, cleaning out physical albums I could recoup some of my expenses through second hand stores or garage sales which I cannot do with music files (unless of course your interested then I could offer you a great package deal on preteen and teen young girl songs from the 90’s and early ‘0’s)

Anyway, so this task is on my list now, it looms like hand picking the pine needles out of my back lawn before I mow for the first time this spring, and man doesn’t that sound like fun…I mean it does, it does sound like fun honey and I will get started on it right away dear.