horror movies | Random Writes & Rongs

Trick R Treat

Boris Karloff, Bella Lugosi, Claude Raines, Peter Lorre, Vincent Price, all great’s in the Horror genre and all will be ignored for the purpose of my list. I’m so sorry Dr. Phibes fans. I’m sorry Dracula devotees. I’m sure the dramatically lit over arched eyebrows and the “I got somethin in my eyes” stare of ol Bella was scary to early movie goers. But take this movie and Lugosi it’s iconic star, both known as horror classics, take the same themes, the same lame dialogue, arched eyebrows and “evil glare” eyes and apply them to the movie Billy the Kid Vs Dracula with the actor John Carradine in this campy classic.

Ooo-wee-ooo!

Alright so that was a little harsh but, well, this is my list and these are suppose to be movies that scare me.

11: The Mist

Lemme Ax you a question!

Well okay where to begin with this one. Like all my picks this movie does scare me, but it takes a higher place on the list due to some flaws. The Mist, despite being a good film suffers from what many Stephen King films do, it’s based on a story by Stephen King.

Now, now…..Okay I’ll let the noise die down…. Look The Shining, Dead Zone, Carrie, Christine, Cujo, Pet Cemetery, All scary as hell books. But only a few of his books have ended up making quality films, and that’s not always simply the directors or studios fault.

The only Horror here is if you were forced to watch it.

One of the issues is that Mr. King has has an obsession with (slipping it into almost every story) wack-a-doo Christians.

Sometimes it works very well. The actors, director, script writers what have you come together to pull off a good transition from book (where this obsession is less laughably noticeable) to film. Carrie, is a good example of where this worked.

In The Mist, however, the crazy christian lady becomes a pointless and maybe even distracting sub story line. Okay granted the actress is no Meryl Streep, and yes the character is in the original novella, and okay probably some humans trapped in this store, in this situation would believe it was the end of the world, but did the dialogue have to be so embarrassingly, painfully, stilted and cliche’? I almost felt sorry for that poor actress, or would have if her character wasn’t threatening to ruin the movie for me.

Okay besides all that this movie is scary. But it made my list for a very specific moment in the movie, which I believe might be one of the all time great horrific moments in American cinema.

I don’t want to ruin the movie for you so I won’t mention which specific scene it is (at the very end of the movie) but okay well there I just did so uh…yea…

Still gives me chills jes thinkin bout it.

Anyway Director Frank Darabont re-envisioned the story with a new far more unsettling end. Mr. King himself approved of this rewrite saying “The ending is such a jolt—wham! It’s frightening…” (source Wikipedia, The Mist)

I loved this story when I read it, but was blown away by the film. It didn’t hurt that I have a man crush on Tom Jane who, as always, brings a down to earth “every guy” quality to his role.

The Mist
Paramount Pictures 2007

If you like your monsters movies with a dash of “King-ism” and would like to see a movie where the horror clings to you like a dark cobweb long after the movie ends, definitely check out 2007’s The Mist from Paramount Pictures

10. The Blair Witch Project

Improvisational Horror and minimalist production struck gold.

This was a tough one to call. When I first saw it, it scared the bejebus out of me. I’ve watched it a number of times since and still find I get scares and chills galore.

The problem lies in it being over hyped and over mimicked so that it’s power has been defused over the past few years. Another issue for me placing it on my list is that so much has been made of it’s groundbreaking web based marketing campaign and it’s independent status. I’ll ackowlegde all that. But I want to make clear that’s not why it’s on the list.

Creepy Arts & Crafts!

This is a scary film. For anyone who has spent time aimlessly hiking in the woods, the odd night sounds of cracking rocks or snapping sticks are at once both familiar and creepy (as they are from inside a tent as well).

The ending of this film, while not as devastating as my first film in this post, still leaves you haunted well after the film ends.

It would be amazing if you hadn’t seen this film yet. But even if you have, a “BWP” themed party with group viewing could be a great way to spend this Halloween.

Okay there ya go everyone a couple more great picks for Halloween night. Leave a comment and lemme know what ya think. the next picks might be.

Number one thing…oh wait you thought I was starting right there…oh man I’m so much more wordy than that. I mean Jimmney Christmas lemme set er up at least.

Okay what I was saying is that first ya gotta understand I don’t like slasher films like “Saw” or “F-13” or even the modified Dream Slasher aka “Freddy”

So if you’ve come to see where yer favorite “Prom Night”, or other teen slasher movie is ranked yer gonna be a sad lil goblin.

Next I only am doing thirteen films so my I had to have some strict standards .

First it has to be a scary movie.

Wait let me clarify that, it’s intent has to be to scare more than to entertain. From the recent and great films like “Slither” “Cabin in the Woods” by the “Buffy Guy” (no, I know Joss Weadon I’m just messing with ya’ll) to older campy or cult films many of which make most other “Top Horror Lists”. like “Susperia” or “Re-Animator” whether the laughs are intetinal or not I did not include them on the list.

Which of course leaves out many of my personal favorites. Fer instance like the above mentioned “Reanimator”. which along with “From Beyond” are two wonderful horror movies from the same Director, but for me at least are not about being scared as much as being entertained by some real weirdos for a couple hours.

Look Out Audrey! Look Out!

The movie also has to be an intentional “Horror” movie, not just a scary movie. “Wait Until Dark” the 1967 jump-a-thon featuring Audrey Hepburn and Alan Arkin is as tense and scary as a movie can get but…it’s a suspense thriller, not a horror movie.

One Scary Dude

To Qualify for my list the Movie had to be marketed as a Horror Movie.

Seriously though if you have not seen “Wait Until Dark” it is an excellent piece of cinema and ahead of it’s time in both content and intensity for a main stream movie of it’s day.

I’m also not going to try to prove to you how cool, obscure or hip I am by awarding a movie a spot on this list simply due to it’s genre meeting and or busting qualities.

Or it’s gore factor. Movies like “Susperia” by Argento may be rated as a masterpiece in almost every horror movie list, but I’m sorry, I’ve watched it more than once and am not impressed yet alone scared. I was grossed out, bored, sometimes entertained but never scared. The same goes for the classic “Night of the Living Dead”. which I do like but cannot include on this list because it never scared me.

At the speed of a ninety year old with palsy. 60’s zombies jes weren’t that scary

For the purpose of this list it doesn’t matter if people used to find the movie really scary or not.. Did it scare me that’s the point of this list.

That’s cause it’s my List. If I somehow don’t include your favorite here, go make your own.

Okay with all those parameters and defing factors ironed out lemme go ahead and start by busting all those rules and give an honorable mention spot to..

The theme song just sprang into yer mind didn’t it.

Honorable Mention: “Halloween” The original with Jamie Lee Curtis. I give this movie the nod not because it defined a whole generation of teen slasher films to follow. But because this is a Halloween list and the title of the film is “Halloween”.

It didn’t make the actual list because it was a typical John Carpenter film and has some terrible dialogue and plot developments that were cliche’ and predictable. I was scared when I first saw it. Now I just end up annoyed at the lame dialogue.

I’ll admit to his movies being a guilty pleasure of mine. “Escape…” & “Big Trouble…” being two of my favorites. But this is a Halloween list. Maybe I’ll do a “Top Carpenter Movie List” someday.

Okay so yea, bla, bla, bla lets get on with it already!

Mr. Dark’s Carnival comes to town.

13: “Something Wicked This Way Comes”
Though this 1983 movie is a Disney Production, and it’s lacking the “serious” scare factor of the other movies in this list. It has been a perennial Halloween favorite in my various households for years.

The story, the actors, the plot development and intensity at the end are all at a par with the best of any of the movies on this list. And, though I could not find it in any other online list, it is a far better film than countless others offered in it’s place.

Something Wicked… is based on an excellent Ray Bradbury short story and though he was involved with development and production of the film he split with Director Jack Clayton over differences once filming had begun. Most agree though that the movie stayed quite true to the original, including much of the literary quality that Bradbury brings to a story.

Despite it being sold as a movie for ‘tweens, though it doesn’t have aliens, zombies, knife wielding maniacs, gore or any typical horror movie features, SW is creepy and has heavy chill factor. It’s entire theme is equal to any age’s viewing enjoyment. You will not regret picking this film for Halloween night.

12: The Thing

Kind of like button button meets an aids test.

John Carpenter’s The Thing released in 1982 would probably rank higher on this list if I hadn’t seen it a hundred times or more. It is Carpenter’s best film and one scary a** movie. If you haven’t seen this flic yet I’m not sure what, or maybe where you’ve been?

The Thing was Carpenter’s eighth film & his first gig with a big time studio, Universal. Which shows in far better production values.

But none of that comes to mind when the husky starts shaking.

Really if you’re looking for high tension scares, this films for you. And a perfect for anyone who likes their horror served up cold, desolate and alien.

All right so that’s the first two picks on my list.

Wait what?

No, of course I’m going to split them up or this post would end up with 10,000 words. I mean I’ve written some wordy posts, but…

Stay tuned though for some classic picks and some vicious new favorites. Feel free as always to comment below and tell me how insightful I am, or the opposite of course is equally welcome.