What Does Sex Mean to You…(and other hidden hits from my youth)

Hey all welcome to another RWR post.

So in a recent interaction with one of my favorite WP bloggers, a hilarious, often brutally honest “dating blog” (n I put it in quotes ’cause it’s so much more)…Miss Snarks brought to mind a rare musical blast from the past. “Cause I’m a Blonde” by Julie “Earth Girls are Easy” Brown.

Though it’s on my Zune I hadn’t listened to that particular playlist in quite awhile and so the next day at work I let it blare…(much to the annoyance of my co-workers I’m sure)…

As the list played, in honor of the her Santchness, I asked the staff of RWR to vote fer the best sex and or relationship songs you may have never heard of.

After a lot of whining that they had never heard of them either, I gave up and decided to just play them a dozen or so songs and have them pick from those.

It was hotly contested but after a few go rounds and repeats I can now officially say that some people just don’t like good music…no, it might just be a generational thing.

But these songs were big in their day, I swear…on the West Coast at least…or hits on the station I listened to anyway.

Okay so here is the list by category, but not in any particular order.

RWR’s best dating/relationship/sex songs from the early punk (don’t call it new wave) era…and remember there are rare songs you may not have heard of…

I acknowledge that there are plenty of great punk songs on these subjects from this era, and a ton of better known “New Wave” songs on the topi of love, sex etc…

But and again this post is about those lesser known classic (I think) hits from a gentler more innocent era.

Relationships/Dating:

“H-a-t-r-e-d”  Tonio K

“Computer Date” Suburban Lawns

“Too Young to Date” D-Day

“Never Say Never” Romeo Void

“Alice” by the Naughty Sweeties

& Sex:

“What Does Sex Mean to Me” Human Sexual Response

“Funky Poodle” Wild Horses

“Kinko the Clown” Ogden Edsel Wahalia Blues Ensemble Mondo Bizzario Band

“Warm Leatherette” The Normal

“Are you Ready for the Sex Girls” Gleaming Spires

Okay well there’s the list and if you’re interested in more you can go hear some of the songs by following the link below.

I of course suggest you search them all out and add ’em to your musical library.

Your collection of late ’70’s early 80’s punk, and okay yes New Wave wouldn’t be complete without them.

Click On Su for more!

Say Bye Bye to ol’ American Pie

Hello everyone, Lil’ Mouse and I are here to bring you another RWR post. If any of you have been with us long enough you will remember that one of our earlier posts focused on our favorite movie choices.

It has always been our plan to post our top TV and music lists also. And when we first sat down this morning that was our plan. I, however, had a thought… “We should do this list backward.”

“Um…what do you mean? Choice five to one?” Lil’ Mouse, often bewildered by my sudden left turns tried her best to follow my new idea.

“Ya know our most unfavorite.” I knew already knowing which song she’d list first.

“The song that…”

“American Pie!” Lil Mouse exclaimed

“…makes you immediately turn the radi…”

“American Pie.” She reiterated.

“..o.”

“American Pie.”

She laughed remembering another earlier post. “And anything by Neil Diamond.”

“So do you like the idea for…”

“What’s New Pussycat!” Lil Mouse was on a roll.

“Yes, okay so you wanna do this post.”

“Actually anything by Tom Jones or Neil Diamond ’cause they’re both creepy.”

“So your #1 worst song is American Pie that’s a given…” Trying to keep her focused.

“I think it’s the chain’s and the chest hair.”

“Okay honey but what’s your #2?”

“I also don’t like that “Cats in the Cradle” song.”

I’m sensing a theme here.

“By Harry Chapin?” Me feigning indignance.

“Whoever, that one and American Pie are manufactured sentimentality.” She claims

“They’re considered two folk classics.” I defend them, though not two of my favorites, but certainly rate sing along status.

“Don’t like ’em” Lil Mouse is nothing if not definitive

“So Cat’s in the Cradle is #2?”

“I also don’t like Bob Dylan.”

No chains or chest hair here

This was not a surprise to me. “Cause he’s a phony right?”

“He’s become a character of himself” She sounds a woman betrayed.

“Neil Young is what Bob Dylan wishes he was!”

“Okay Honey but so what Bob Dylan song is your most…?”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like his songs. I just don’t like Bob Dylan.”

Five years and I can still be surprised huh. “I thought you thought he was a phony?”

“I do. But I still like his songs. I have a bunch of his albums.”

It was true, she did own a bunch of Dylan records. I always wondered about that particular dichotomy.  Sometimes I would catch her in the girl cave singing along with “Hurricane” or “Tangled up in Blue”. I always thought it a guilty pleasure and never said anything.

She reached over me toward the keyboard. “Don’t put that about the phony stuff”

“So you don’t think he’s phony?” She hates when I do this, but I can’t help but do.

Sighing she launches into her explanation. “I think he’s a carefully crafting artist.”

“C’mon..” I start my challenge. She holds up a hand

“Ah. Ah. Let me finish” I continue to stare keeping up the pressure…

“Who’s art has, at this point, become being Bob Dylan.”

Robert Z. as “Bobby D.”

I lean over the keyboard fingers flying.

“Wait.” she laughs nervously. “Don’t put that in!”

“Be brave.” I exclaim. “Go bold or go home!”

“That’s your motto. Mine’s be bold at home.” She has stopped laughing.

I am quickly setting the last picture. I don’t know if she has read what I have written since. I can just feel her eyes on the side of my head as I hustle to put in the pic.

“You are going to change that part aren’t you.” The punctuation is correct, it was not a question.

I hit the publish button. “Too late. I’m sorry….”

Lil’ Mouse’s  harsh belittling laugh cuts me to the quick.

“Shift, alt, what Honey?”

“Your such an old man.” She is already reaching past me for the mouse.

Accessing the dashboard she reopens the post. “It’s not like it’s the front page of the NY Times in the 1940’s…We can’t stop the presses Boss!”

“It’s not like 100,000 copies just went into hardcover print and now we’re going to have to recall them all.” She’s so funny my Lil’ Mouse.

“Oh no…” She mimed panic as she pushed me out of the way and began typing. ” What am I going to do. Your so clever. You really got me there.”

“Okay” I said making a last ditch effort. ” If your afraid to tell the truth.”

“But I did tell the truth.” Lil Mouse said all sweets and smiles now.

“Lemme see what you wrote.”

The Winner & Still Champion

She pushes the publish button. “Too late.” She laughs

“Okay but…what if i just put back in what you really said tomorrow or the next day.”

My beautiful Lil Mouse looks unfazed. She knows me to well.

“You wouldn’t do that to me Honey.”

No…no I wouldn’t

 

Mornings with the Mouse

One of the best parts of my life is the time I get to spend with Lil’ Mouse…my amazing woman….and I think the one thing that almost no one knows about her is how funny she is…It’s one of the secret sides of her that most people never get to see…

Like this morning. We usually get ready together every morning, so that’s not unusual, and I love listening to Lil’ Mouse tell me about the day she has ahead of her, her rendition of the latest news from NPR, Lil’ Mouse is just a tad more liberal than I lol…or we discuss the news of the morning from CBS (She can do a great impression of me rantin about media bias). Most mornings I shower while she gets busy with girl business (make up etc)…

Now here it’s important that you understand that I sing…out loud…a lot…it’s just one of my quirks. (I have done this since I have been a wee unit, randomly burst into song, the first [non kid] song I remember memorizing was Build Me Up Buttercup[first kid song Puff the Magic Dragon]) And me being in the shower…of course, well…

Also of note, lately I’ve been on this early seventies kick, Sly & the Family Stone, Dr John, BT Express, Stevie Wonder, even some old Chicago (amazing how much better a track like Beginnings or Questions 67 & 68 sounds remastered)…oh and lame hits as well, I Think I love You, It’s Now or Never and…Shilo

 

So that’s where we’re at see, the scene is set. I’m in the shower, soaping up my fuzzy noggin. Lil’ Mouse is tryin this new braid in front of the full length mirror….and I belt out

“Young Child with Dreams…”

Lil Mouse groans.

“Dream every dream on your own”

“Really” she says eying me sideways using the mirror.

“When Children play…”

“Neil Diamond?”

“Seems like you end up alone.”

See look he can Rock

“The Anti-Neil?” She doesn’t like Neil Diamond, cause she loves Neil Young, if you can follow that logic you might understand just one of the reasons I adore her…

Then comes the octave switch (Lil Mouse knows I just don’t sing Neil fer his kitschy value, but because he’s in my vocal range[especially now I’m older])

“Papa said he longs to be with you…”

“How did he ever get to be a sex symbol?”

“If he had the time. So you turn to the only friend you can find”

“Oh yea this is the ‘imaginary friend’ song”

“There in your mind…”

“Shilo when I was young…I used to call your name…”

“Just who is this Shilo…?”

Mmm? I started singing ahead in my brain I mean, I knew the answer didn’t I…I’ve heard, sung this song a million (gross exg.) times…It was a kid right I mean, not a dog that was the book…okay my mouth was singing…”When no one else would come?”…but my brain was thinking…”Shilo she…” definitely kid, girl…

Okay wha happened?

“He’s such an odd mix of bland and creepy”

Okay she got me, that made me laugh, I stopped and said,

“Shilo’s a girl, a like, little girl I think….”

“Isn’t that weird?” she asked, she didn’t have to expound on the question….

Okay well, Maybe these shirts were cool? Somewhere? Las Vegas? .Liberace's summer house?

“Yes, I guess, yes, I think it kinda is…you mean to have a small Jewish boy with a imaginary, southern, ‘Jodie Foster’ like friend named Shilo…

“I don’t think Shilos a little girl, not judging from his music, his career…”

“Oh…” I began

“I think his imaginary friend is an old lady who watches soap operas.  They discuss her grandchildren, her operations and the sales at Walgreen’s.”

Okay well, I can't even defend this...I mean, c'mon Neil!

Oh it is to laugh…she’s got me there

Anyway, here’s the best I could find fer a YouTube video of a young(sorry honey) Neil Diamond)(notice how the announcer seems confused over “Shilo’s”  gender also

 

Okay and just for Lil Mouse…one of the “Real Neil”…enjoy

 

Electronic Life 3.0

There are few changes in my new electronic life that are on as grand a scale as that of music, or more specifically my music collection, some changes may be more important to my day to day functionality, (I could argue otherwise)but there is no question that on sheer size, no change to my life is bigger (pun intended) than the change this electronic life has brought to my music collection.

See here’s the deal, now I’m not saying I have the largest e-music collection, I have no idea how many music files other people have…but I do know that Lil’ Mouse was lookin’ over my music files (for the last post) when she asked me if I had any idea how many music files I had…

“Uh…”

“Over 14,000!”

That’s when it hit me that this would be a great subject for a E.L. post, cause see I grew up in the seventies so I still think of music files, when I see ’em in my head as albums. And when Lil Mouse said this I immediately saw over 14,000 albums lined on shelves….how much room would that take? And my second thought was thank God for this electronic life, cause I knew what was coming and all I could think of (that is after seeing over 14,000 albums lined up on shelves) is that my files(imagine now 14,000 albums stacked and piled randomly in various areas all over the house) are a mess.

“Well a bunch are probably duplicates” I offered as a weak attempt to avoid her mockery

“Only a few hundred” Lil Mouse quickly countered. Never argue with a cataloger while she’s in the process…”I mean do you even know half these songs?”

“Every single one of them is as dear to my heart as you are Honey?”

Sometimes sarcasm does not go over well with Lil’ Mouse…

“What about this ‘Digging your Scene’ by the Blow Monkey’s” She countered

It's the Blow Monkeys' or me!

“Under the category Crappy Retro New Wave like Kajagoogoo or INXS” I answered using her own lingo “And yes, I do once in awhile listen t…”

“Abba, Neil Diamond, Carpenters?”

“Sappy seventies super hits” I was ready for anything until…

“How about these Alan Menken tunes from various Disney Movies like Hercules?” Oh she’s so funny.

Okay I couldn’t defend those, they were left over from when my oldest daughter still lived at home, and might even be iTunes files that I can no longer access…But still I struggled to think of a good excuse, I mean after all, It’s not like they take up real space, collect dust or any of that, but that didn’t stop (like any good woman worth her weight in honey-do lists) Lil’ Mouse.

“You should go through these files honey and clean them out, straighten them up. Just looking you’ll still have over ten thousand songs, but they will be better organized”

The problem with women (as it applies to honey-do lists) is that they’re so hard to argue against. Yes I should do those things honey, I just really don’t want to.

After the Honey Do's Done-Dancing to Dean-O

And here’s where my electronic “music” life works against me in a couple of ways. If the albums were actually piled all around the house it would be impossible to ignore as effectively as I can when they take up imaginary space (but I guess this is countered by the lack of nagging the music collection incurs[as compared to the nagging the same amount of physical music would lol]). However, cleaning out physical albums I could recoup some of my expenses through second hand stores or garage sales which I cannot do with music files (unless of course your interested then I could offer you a great package deal on preteen and teen young girl songs from the 90’s and early ‘0’s)

Anyway, so this task is on my list now, it looms like hand picking the pine needles out of my back lawn before I mow for the first time this spring, and man doesn’t that sound like fun…I mean it does, it does sound like fun honey and I will get started on it right away dear.

A Little Mood Music

So Lil’ Mouse and I were sitting around last night and, as couples at times are wont to do,

"Remember when we first met Dear"
"uh-huh"

We started talking about what got us attracted to each other in the first place the conversation went something like this…

Lil Mouse, from the couch, on her laptop says “Remember when we first met, and then started working together?”

Across the room I on the old man computer respond enthusiastically….”Hunuh..” Or some such general grunt of acknowledgement that I did indeed remember that.

“What did you think?” On her laptop, from the couch, Lil’ Mouse leans forward…

“I’m not sure what you mean?” I replied knowing exactly what she meant. A man can’t give in too easy..

“C’mon” She femanded

“Honestly” I asked

She answered “yes of course”…That’s what they all say and usually I know better, but hey I was feelin talkative, felt like opening up…That should have been my first clue to keep my ol’ mouth shut.

Well when I first saw ya up there readin poetry I thought you looked pretty cute, and yer poetry rocked. Then when we started working together, I was briefly worried that maybe you were some granola eatin’, fembot lesbian, grad student.”

Of course Lil Mouse would be the "hot one"

“Wha…wha…what?” Okay that wasn’t exactly her response but mine’s funnier and more reader friendly.

She then preceded, in her own best Little Mouse fashion, to tell me what she thought of me when we first met…She did so by first taking off my glasses and perching them on her nose, she then took my cigarette and scrunched up her face (Do I really look like Gilbert Gottfried) and started pacing back and forth across the den….

Mr. Gottfried

“Women…”She paused dramatically waving the cigarette in a wild gesticulating aggressive circles…”are ruining the world…Ya wanna know why Missy?”

I was laughing so hard I could not respond, but she, imitating me, of course did not let that stop her “Fake figernails…!”

“Fake…” She insisted using the cigarette like a small poker coming for my now naked eyeball”…fingernails”

Okay well she didn’t use the cigarette like a poker, I just made that part up, and seeing as she will read this it’s best I come clean now…She does do a wonderful job mimicking me however, (this wasn’t the first time won’t be the last) especially if I sound a lot more like Iago the parrot than I am aware of..

After all the dust settled we both found the same thing was the initial attractor…and we think it might be the same for a lot of couple so while talking about it Little Mouse suggested it would be a great topic for the next RWR blog.

See while working in the warehouse together at a thrift store which shall remain nameless I walked into the back and found Little Mouse listening to a CD.

I thought “Well hell those are some kick butt songs she’s listening to she has excellent taste in music”

Of course, duh, you can guess by now it was one of my mixed discs from home. She had found the CD in the stack and liking the music selection on it had chosen to play it.

“You liked a bunch of different types of music.” She said her blue eyes a sparkle.

“I was just happy you didn’t like Katy Perry or Lady Gaga”

“Be serious.”

Men hate being serious in these situations.

“Okay I was stunned. You were younger, but you knew about and liked most of my music, I mean Ella, Dean Martin, Carter Family, Clash and more quirky rock like Modest Mouse and TMBG. You even know yer seventies music, hell Neil Young and Van Morrison are two of your favorites. Plus you’ve introduced me to some pretty obscure artist yourself like Wanda Jackson and Jolie Holland”

This is what she wanted in the beginning, all smiles Little Mouse leaned into me.

“You didn’t really think I was a lesbian did you honey?”

“Of course not sweetie…of course not.”